


Dreams In Counting

by beyondinfinitescenes



Category: BLACKPINK, BLACKPINK (Band), Bangtan Boys, Kpop - Fandom, bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Bottom Jeon Jungkook, Fluff, High School, Inspired by Real Events, Jeon Jungkook Is Bad at Feelings, Lucid Dreaming, M/M, Mutual Dreaming, Mutual Pining, Parallel Universes, Pining Jeon Jungkook, Pining Kim Taehyung | V, Psychic Abilities, Psychic Bond, Shy Jeon Jungkook, Telepathic Bond, Top Kim Taehyung | V, kookv, taekook, vkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9519677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyondinfinitescenes/pseuds/beyondinfinitescenes
Summary: Crushing on someone older than you is hard enough. It means having contact with each other is difficult, and once it's lost,  it can barely be brought back. So if Jungkook hadn't spoken a word to the boy in months, why would he be having dreams about him?(Inspired by true personal events)





	1. First Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Things in _italics_ are either thoughts, dreams, memories or just used for emphasis.
> 
> [Give me your feedback!](https://hardtofigureout.tumblr.com)

Jungkook's elementary school crush on Taehyung ended in a quite embarrassing matter. They first met due to the whole "my friend is friend's with you so let's be friends" sort of thing thanks to Jimin, his family friend. Ironically, when Jungkook first met Taehyung, his childish and perky persona as a first impression got Jungkook thinking, _Yeah, I probably won't have a crush on him._ One month later, he found himself on a Skype call with Jimin by his side chatting with Taehyung and was immediately smitten.

Jungkook made the bold decision of confessing to him on Christmas Eve like it would be some sort of amazing Christmas gift and a bonus for himself if Taehyung liked him back. Mind you, Jungkook was 13 at the time when he was still figuring out how the real world actually worked. So when he was gently rejected even though the mixed signals from before said otherwise, he was too humiliated to speak to the 15-year-old boy ever again.

Their only encounter after the confession happened on the day before Jungkook's eighth grade graduation. He was at the mall with Jimin doing some last minute shoe shopping because procrastination was a habit not even something as important as a graduation could break. He noticed Taehyung and his group of friends sitting in the same section of tables as his in the food court. Jungkook ignored him, still too broken and afraid to face him when his friends started shouting his name, "Hey!! Jeon Jungkook?! You like Taehyung? Do you want to _kiss_ Taehyung?? Do you want to _raise his babies??"_

Jungkook would've been able to hide the wetness in his eyes and ignore them, however (if he wasn't mistaken) the sound of faint giggles in the form of Taehyung's voice put him on edge. Jimin noticed immediately, threw a used-crumpled napkin in their direction and pulled the quietly sobbing boy into the bathroom and hugged him like he was trying to keep him from falling apart. That's when Jungkook officially declared he no longer had a crush on Kim Taehyung.

At least, that's what he believed.

~

What sucks about ignoring someone without closure or a sense of their personality, is that you're stuck with the version that you made up yourself. The one that seemed so perfect and has everything you need because you didn't know what they were actually about so your mind just assumed. You fall for the thought of them instead of the real thing because that's the only thing you have left of them. That's what happened to Jeon Jungkook.

Over the summer, the poor boy had probably had about three dreams of Taehyung. Long story short, they all consisted of the same thing; Taehyung reaching out and trying to apologize for his douche-bag behavior, and Jungkook ignoring him to save his pride and humility. That was the version of Taehyung that Jungkook's mind had come up with, a compassionate boy with every intention to fix broken bonds and being able to realize when he's hurt someone to put them back together. One or two dreams, Jungkook would have been okay with that considering the fact that this was his first heartbreak (even though they were never really going out). But _three_ dreams in only two months about a boy he has no connection with anymore sounded a little ridiculous and it didn't help that every time he woke up, his was heart beating 100-to-the-10th-power faster than it should.

Jungkook's aunt always said to record any recurring dreams you may have. He didn't know what counted as a "recurring dream" but this seemed pretty close, so he took his aunt's advice. He then told Jimin about the dreams, too embarrassed to ask anyone else who didn't know about the events that happened so he'd have to explain it again in agony. Jimin was no help, he kept asking the same questions that the younger had obviously been wondering and was hoping the former would have an answer, but apparently not. And to make sure he keeps what little of dignity he has left, he of course did not go to a professional about his so-called dilemma that could've probably been a one time thing, right?

~

_Jungkook: you got a crush on anyone??? -_-_

_Taehyung: idk lol  
Taehyung: do you???_

_Jungkook: mmm maybe.... :/_

_Taehyung: ooooh do I know them??? I can hook you up! Who is she (or he if ur into that)_

_Jungkook: ehh don't feel like tellin XD_

_Taehyung: oh cmonnnn, I promise I won't tell anyyyyyyone_

_Jungkook: okay, it's you...  
Jungkook: SIKE lmaooo_

_Taehyung: pls kookieeee?? You don't understand, they probably like you back... If you talk to them_

_Jungkook: kookie??? Where did that come from¿_

_Taehyung: idk it's just cute and it suits you_

_Jungkook: oh... Well... I'm still not telling you :P_

_Taehyung: fine :( when our friendship "develops" and you feel like dating the girl (or guy if you're, once again, into that) come to me, aight?_

_Jungkook: lmaooo okayy ;)_

_"What the hell does that mean?" Jungkook questions, shoving his phone screen displaying the text messages into Jimin's face._

_Jimin closely examined the messages for clues that obviously weren't there due to it being via text message. "I mean, I looks like he's implying something. I don't have much to say about it, it wasn't in person," he advises._

Jungkook stared at the outdated text messages recalling the memory that had butterflies rumbling his stomach. It's strange how such delicate and beautiful little insects could cause such a chaotic feeling that most people found annoying. He sighed, frustrated at how much of a fool he had been, falling for someone with more experience in the dating field, someone who can expertly lead someone on without getting attached and then breaking them to the bone without any left over guilt. Fallen for someone older than him.

~

Jungkook wanted nothing to do with Kim Taehyung, if he had it his way, he'd erase him from his memory and never see him again. Although, he couldn't erase his memory, the option of never seeing him again had still been on the table. All he had to do was audition with vocals or dance at the nearby performing arts school instead of settling with his crappy neighbourhood high school. Except Jungkook wasn't _that_ determined. He figured he could handle walking by the infamous boy in the hallways acting like nothing happened. Maybe, if he was lucky, the boy might have forgotten him.

One thing's for sure now, Jungkook overestimated himself. He definitely couldn't handle seeing the boy. So when he was walking up to the second floor of the school and turned around for a brief second to see the (use to be blonde) orange haired boy right on his tail, he felt his heart fall right to the floor and get trampled by the crowds' feet. Jungkook wasn't ready. He knew he would see him at some point, but right off the bat with first period not even started on his _first day_ Not to mention the packed staircase for close proximity. He really felt like the gods were plotting against him.

His homeroom teacher had handed out boxed-locks to everyone, each with a four-digit number and a combination of three numbers on the label. The freshman had, correctly, assumed it was the lock for his locker. They were all let out for 10 minutes to identify their locker and test the lock. Jungkook found his in the bundle of lockers next to his classroom along with the rest of classmates. _This can't be too bad,_ he thought hoping to befriend one of his locker neighbours. Then suddenly, a flash of orange caught his sight in the corner of his eye. The freshman cautiously turned around, praying that the flash of orange was the sweet, tender, and harmless fruit a student had been holding, only to have his hopes crushed and see _him_ fastening his lock onto the locker right across from his own. No, the gods weren't plotting against him, they already had everything planned out from the start and suddenly decided, _Fuck it, let's just speed up the torture, I'm getting impatient._


	2. Strategic Avoidance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things in italics are either thoughts, dreams, memories or just used for emphasis.

To fully understand Jungkook's utter despair and frustration, you have to know that almost all of Taehyung's classes were taking place in the same hallway as his. Which meant passing by the boy between _every_ period and being scared for his life, or arriving late to his classes because he decided to take the long way around just to avoid the damn boy.

The first week of school was learning about Taehyung's whereabouts and planning strategic escapes to avoid him at all costs. It didn't help that 1) his locker just so happened to conveniently be placed right across from his own, 2) that they had the same lunch periods and 3) their classes are close by. That leaves morning visits to his locker inescapable, and frantic running in the opposite direction of his next class because a certain junior was there, but lunches were hit or miss. Most days, Taehyung would be the only thing that seemed to be in his sight, and some others, Taehyung was no where to be found.

The cafeteria (or 'Caf' for short) had rows of long tables with an aisle down the center. Jungkook, Jimin and two of Jimin's friends had sat in the middle of one of these long tables with another group of people on his right side. A sudden burst of laughter echoed through the Caf from the front doors that caught the attention of many tables. The Caf had almost been maxed to its full capacity, the only available seats were at Jungkook's table to his left, and seeing as the laugh sounded way too familiar to Jungkook's liking, it left him squirming in his seat and frantically looking for an empty table other than his.

Taehyung and his friends burst through the door like they owned the place, almost like they wanted everyone to know how much 'fun' they are. His friends scanned the crowd for an empty table while Taehyung looked anywhere but his direction, sort of hinting that he doesn't want to sit where everyone else was thinking to go. But, low and behold, his brother, Minjae, pointed to Jungkook's table.

Jungkook watched as the squad made their way over, accidentally catching worried eyes with Taehyung as he sat down four chairs away from him. Jungkook knew how to play this game. To absolutely ensure that you are entirely over a heart break, you cannot look in their direction and you must smile like it's brighter than the sun. Every time Jimin or one of his friends made a joke, Jungkook would laugh. It's not a fake laugh, 100 per cent genuine except a little bit over the top, just so Taehyung would know how happy he is.

He had no way of knowing for sure that Taehyung even remembered him, let alone, cared to spare a glance in his direction. But Jimin, knowing all too well of what Jungkook was trying do, made a sudden observation when Taehyung walked behind the younger to the tables on the other side of the Caf. "He was staring at you," the elder whispered.

Jungkook briefly stopped playing with his food (a strategy to make it look like food was _way_ more interesting than Taehyung) and shot a quick glance in Taehyung's direction. "What? No, he-- no..."

"Yea, he walked by and like... I don't know, he just didn't look away until he couldn't keep his head straight forward to look at you," he explained cautiously at the sudden shade of pink in Jungkook's cheeks.

"Wh-- was he, like, glaring at me? Or...."

"I think it was more like 'hey, that person looks familiar, let me scan them to make sure' type of thing," Hoseok, Jimin's friend, had clarified.

"Wha-- h-how do you know who we're talking about?" The freshman stuttered.

"It's pretty hard to miss a brightly orange haired boy staring daggers right through someone's head as it unfolds right in front of you," he chuckled leaning back into his chair.

That didn't clarify much. Yeah, Taehyung was looking at him, that didn't prove that he remembered him. Did it? The question burned through Jungkook's mind, ripping every last piece of his brain in search for a logical answer. Sure, it doesn't sound like a big deal, Jungkook was fully aware of how he was overreacting, so why did he care so much? He doesn't even like Taehyung anymore.

~

_Jimin thought it would be a good idea to go on an 'adventure', which meant exploring old and abandoned buildings. This weeks feature; an underground parking lot. Despite all of Jungkook's protesting, he loved spending time with his hyung and doing things a little out of the ordinary. It distracted him from the real world, it was place where reality was slightly altered and Jimin knew how much Jungkook hated the real world. Though, he never went the extra mile to find a temporary escape._

_The boys approached the middle of the lot as Jimin blasted music from his phone holding it high up in the air for the sound to echo. Jungkook, being the little bunny he was, sprinted around the parking lot as the base dropped, feeling so much freedom and electricity in his veins._

_As the song came to an end, Jungkook jogged back over to Jimin who was currently dying of his laughing fit. Jungkook bent over on his knees panting to catch his breath, chuckling at his childish behaviour, when he suddenly felt a presence behind him._

_Jungkook, being too paranoid to turn around, stared at Jimin with worried eyes. To much surprise, Jimin smiled at the sight behind him and told him to turn around. Jungkook did as he was told and hesitantly turned only to be greeted by Taehyung with a heartwarming smile and concern in his eyes. Jungkook felt his knees buckling, and his heart beating so fast that it was like it wasn't beating at all. Taehyung reached out a hand, the gesture meant an apology and forgiveness, but Jungkook only saw danger as he forced his trembling legs to move back slowly that gradually turned into a run. It wasn't Taehyung chasing after him for forgiveness anymore, it was Jimin asking to give him a second chance which frightened him even more. His heart was practically gone at this point, the heaviness putting him off balance causing him to collapse. He pulled his knees to his chest, his eyes were blurry from tears not letting him register that Taehyung was gone. It was only him and Jimin trying to calm him down, but that only made it worse as he screamed at the top of his lungs._

Jungkook jolted awake to find himself in the fetal position squeezing the life out of his pillow and his heart hammering nails into his chest. That was the fourth dream recorded into his journal. Jungkook was more scared than he was irritated with no idea what to make out of the situation. Jungkook was terrified but he didn't know why. He believed that Taehyung was no longer relevant in his life, therefore, his life shouldn't revolve around him. Except it did, but there was no way on earth Jungkook was going to admit that.

 


	3. Devil's Name

Taehyung first moved into town when Jungkook was in grade 7, but they never officially met until the last month of school. Before Taehyung was even in the picture, Jungkook had other drama to worry about. A group of guys  who were a year older than Jungkook picked up the habit of consistent teasing and torture toward him. Of course, they never meant to be hurtful toward him, it was mostly just "annoy him until it's no longer fun". Jungkook, sure he was annoyed every second of the day, but he didn't really care. It affected him in a way that it helped him "harden" up and develop his resting bitch-face. Then Taehyung arrived and, thanks to his younger brother Minjae, became friends with his tormentors due to his incredible social skills. Taehyung never took part in the onslaught of pestering, but when Taehyung decided on his "cute" nickname for him, all hell broke loose. Minjae and the rest of them, every time he was in sight, would call out, " **Kookie!** " toward him stretching out the word mockingly to the point where he hated the "cute" nickname with his life, to the point where he considered it the Devil's name.

Jungkook had always had a slight distaste toward Minjae from the moment he laid eyes on him. He was a star student and so likeable, no one could ever say no to his perfect baby face so he got whatever he wanted. No work required, just charm and Jungkook envied him (secretly, because he still needed some connection with Taehyung). Thus, when the nickname came out of his mouth, it burned the most and had Jungkook anticipating his graduation so that he'd finally have peace.

That peace didn't last very long.

~

When basketball season arrived, Jungkook had landed himself the position of point guard on the team. Unfortunately so, Minjae was also on the team, which meant Taehyung would be attending the games and hanging around during practice. Although Jungkook really never wanted to see Taehyung again, he found it as an opportunity to show off his athletic abilities to show Taehyung what he missed out on.

During a practice, Jungkook had a mini heart attack when he saw Taehyung peeking through gym entrance looking for Minjae. He and Taehyung stared at each other for a moment, it was less than a second but it felt like minutes, when Jungkook quickly looked away and shot a three-pointer to distract him. And yet, he still felt Taehyung's gaze fixed on him, but he ignored it. Jungkook was there for basketball, not Taehyung.

~

Jungkook had finished changing into his jersey for their home game when he realized he left his water bottle in his locker so he quickly ran out to go get it. On his way back from his locker, as he turned the corner, Taehyung was there with the group of friends from that time at mall. Jungkook swiftly rushed by them praying they didn't notice him when, "Hey! It's Kookie!" One of them called out from behind him. "You're on the basketball team? Is there a game today? I'm gonna watch!"

"Yeah, shut up, please," Jungkook blurted, refusing to look back to see if Taehyung was watching.

Taehyung's friend left him alone while Jungkook practically ran back to the change room, trying to shake the confusion from his head. It's been confirmed, Taehyung most likely remembers him now and the nickname.

~

_It was late when Jungkook had gotten multiple phone calls from an unknown caller ID, no phone number displayed. At the time, he was using his phone to play his music (and nothing comes in between him and his music) so he ignored the calls up until the 7th call. He answered to hear Taehyung trying to apologize while telling Minjae and his friends to quiet down, "Can you shut up? I feel bad, okay?"_

_The connection in the phone call kept cutting in and out, ergo, Jungkook hung up without letting Taehyung explain himself._ What a waste of time, _he thought._

_He was about to go to sleep when his phone started vigorously vibrating. It was the same unknown caller spamming pictures of everything he loves like basketball, music, etc. In the midst of all the pictures, the unknown caller sent a long paragraph that Jungkook couldn't read due all the photos, causing his phone to crash. He briefly remembered seeing the words "mutual", "beautiful", and "love" in the paragraph, but that's all he could make out._

Jungkook woke up, calmly this time, to see the sun was still setting and his phone vibrating from his snapchat notifications. He recorded the dream, now adding up to five in total. Jungkook was definitely creeped out. Five dreams? Was he insane? How could he have dreams about one person to which he has no communication with? Jungkook needed an answer, he researched the meanings behind recurring dreams, visited numerous amounts of websites and yet none of them had an answer, only theories.

Two nights later, he abruptly woke up from _another_ dream.

_Jungkook was sitting in front of the school waiting for Jimin to come out. Minjae walked out briefly making eye contact with him but then continued to leave. A couple minutes later, Taehyung had walked out but stopped when he noticed Jungkook sitting there. They stared at each for what seemed like forever when Minjae pulled him away, whining that he wanted to leave. Taehyung, being the persistent boy he is, managed to keep his gaze glued to Jungkook even as Minjae pushed him to leave. The elder whispered something to his brother, seeming to be asking for advice and quickly broke his brother's hold on him. He walked over to Jungkook, grabbed his wrist and pulled him up to stand so that their faces were right in front of each other. Taehyung looked at him with serious eyes and whispered in his ear, "I just want you to be happy."_

Jungkook had no idea what to think. His theory so far, was that his mind is letting him live in the world that gave him what he wanted, closure. Or that it was preparing him for something that could happen in the real world. But there was no way in the world that Jungkook would consider this was happening because he still may have feelings for Taehyung.

~

"Jimin Hyung, I need you to read these," Jungkook urged, handing Jimin his dream journal.

Jimin thoroughly read it over, his facial expressions hard to read. "When did you start having these dreams," he asked.

"July," the younger stated, "it's October, now. I had 6 dreams about him in four months. You'd think my mind would give it some time, one dream per month, but _nope_ ," he ranted.

"Kooki-- um, Jungkook, you know I don't know anything about dreams."

Jungkook sighed, still not quite sure what he wanted to know. He wanted to know why these dreams are even a thing and how to stop it, but knowing that still wouldn't really fix anything. When suddenly a question drilled it's way into his thoughts. "Do... Do you think he... has dreams of me too," the younger wondered with a little too much hope in his voice staring holes into the floor.

Jimin's confusion faded into a look of concern and sympathy. He knew that Jungkook was feeling something that the younger did not want to admit, so instead of asking, he slung his arm around Jungkook's shoulders. "Jungkook, I promise you, if he ever tries anything again, I will be right here to protect you, okay?"

 


	4. One Thing To Steal

In the first few months of constantly seeing Taehyung around school, Jungkook assumed they had made a silent agreement to not acknowledge each other. It seemed to be going well despite the basketball incident. But then, there was a slight ( _slight)_ disturbance. Jungkook was shocked to open his notifications to see that Taehyung had requested to follow him on Instagram when he thought the boy had blocked him. Yes, Jungkook is fully aware of how anticlimactic this was, no big deal. But to him, he saw it as Taehyung acknowledging him and remembering his existence even after the unspoken agreement.

Now, Jungkook had to be extremely cautious about what he posted. Though, even after weeks of following each other, neither of them "liked" each other's photos. Until Jimin forced Jungkook to post a selfie and the fires of hell fucked him up the ass. Yep, Taehyung "liked" the selfie. In Jungkook's opinion, it wasn't even one of his best selfies either, but there it was, Taehyung's "like" in his notifications. No, of course it's not a big deal, it's just one "like" that blended in with the other "likes".

To fully understand Jungkook's confusion, Jungkook hadn't spoken to this boy for months and, if he's completely honest, he's not even entirely sure what pulled them apart other than his confession. Taehyung was too kind, too gentle to end a friendship just like that for something so minor, or did Jungkook just mistake him for the version he made up in his head, because no matter how much they had in common, he still didn't know him for sure.

~

**_Taehyung:_ ** _what you doin rn?_

**_Jungkook:_ ** _lookin for games to download_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _bro.... Do you have steam? OMG WE SHOULD PLAY TF2 TOGETHER_

**_Jungkook:_ ** _lmaoooo sure? I kinda suck tho_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _no biggy, gives me a better chance to CRUSH YOU_

**_Jungkook:_ ** _well fuck_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _watcH YOUR LANGUAGE_

_The boys called each other on Skype and began their gameplay. Jungkook was indeed horrible (or a "noob" as they say), which seemed to bring Taehyung so much joy. "Ah, whatever, I'll just teach you," he suggested._

_"I thought you wanted to 'crush' me," the younger tempted._

_"Well, we're on the same team and I kind of want to win."_

_They played for hours, raging and taunting at the other players, while shouting their best battle cry. Jungkook let out his more competitive side, one that mostly came out while playing basketball. He was a little too serious about winning the game than he should've been, getting kill streaks up to at least 7 players. Taehyung was impressed at how fast Jungkook had learned._

_"What the fuck? Stop stealing my kills!" Taehyung hissed, the sound of a fist banging a table on the other end of the Skype call._

_"I'm just that good," Jungkook snickered as he stole another one of Taehyung's kills, "be grateful that I'm keeping you from dying."_

_After the call had ended and Taehyung had logged off, Jungkook continued to play. It was a new addiction that helped him let out all his anger and frustration about whatever was happening in his life._

Jungkook turned on his PC as the memory sprung from the back of his mind. With the confusing mixed emotions racking up in his head, he needed to let out his stress somehow. He opened the game to hear the familiar jingle that played in the background. The last time Jungkook had opened this game was when Taehyung had convinced him to play it with him, this game had memories of Taehyung written all over it, even if it was only one time.

As he played, he found himself getting angrier. After every kill he made, he couldn't shake the feeling of Taehyung screaming in his ear because he stole his kill, the only thing Jungkook _could_ steal from him. Every time he restarted a match, he secretly hoped he would see Taehyung's username appear on the players list, and when Taehyung would notice Jungkook's name too, he'd start a Skype call. Taehyung was the first person Jungkook actually sent a friend request to, before he didn't see any purpose in it, he only did it for the sake of seeing Taehyung's name in his own friend list. _Just do it, I want to see what games you're into,_ he remembered Taehyung plead.

They use to be so close. When they first met, although Jungkook wasn't perky enough for Taehyung's personality, they seemed to clash. They had opposite personalities, like Yin and Yang, where Jungkook was dark but Taehyung was the bright side. They got along so easily, shared so many things in common, it made Jungkook feel like Taehyung was too good to be true (which he was). To have such a healthy friendship tear itself apart because of one little thing that could've been overlooked was something Jungkook wasn't ready for. It had him looking back on all of his old friendships that he no longer had, was he really that bad at keeping friends? Jungkook was afraid of fast-paced friendships ever since his dispute with Taehyung.

~

Last period had just ended and everyone was heading out. Jungkook made his way back to his locker to drop off his text books. When he turned into the hallway, he saw Taehyung in the middle of unlocking his own. Just because they followed each other on Instagram (totally not a big deal) didn't mean the unspoken rules didn't apply, hence the (almost) awkward silence as Jungkook made his way across the junior to his locker.

They both finished their tasks at the same time and made their way back down the hallway when a teacher carrying a loaded box of supplies had bumped into another student, the contents spilling across the hallway, preventing the two boys from leaving. Several nearby students crowded around to help recollect the supplies so neither did Jungkook or Taehyung bother to help, instead to awkwardly stand there side-by-side waiting for an escape. Jungkook felt the tension between them thicken the longer they stood there as he stared at the chaos unfolding in front him to distract himself.

When the mess had finally cleared up, Jungkook bolted, feeling Taehyung's blistering gaze behind him and just for a moment, a split second before he left, he could've sworn he heard Taehyung mutter, "Hi, kookie," under his breath. But maybe that's just Jungkook's mind playing games again to mess with him.

~

As the week progressed, Jungkook couldn't help notice the pestering looks Taehyung had been giving him. A not-so-subtle look that said, "you're the same." Maybe Taehyung was just more aware of the stares Jungkook had uncontrollably been throwing at him and the junior was looking at him as if to say, "what's your deal?" But no, Taehyung had been staring at him like he wanted to talk to him but thought he could get the message through with just his eyes.

"Maybe.... You should talk to him," Jimin suggested, "you're always telling me about all this shit and how he stares at you and those dreams-- don't give me that look. I'm serious, try."

"No, he probably thinks of me as the annoying little kid who was obsessed with playing with him. I can't," Jungkook reasoned.

"What if _I_ talked to him?"

" _What?_ "

"We're still, technically, friends so I could talk to him and then the topic of _you_ can sort of find its way in to the conversation," the elder assured.

Jungkook pondered the possible outcomes. The worst thing that could happen would be Taehyung ending his friendship with Jimin and hating them both forever. "Well, if you really feel like it. I'm not saying you have to-" the freshman held up his hands in surrender, "-but if you do and anything goes wrong, it's not my fault."

Jimin laughed at the younger's "subtlety" and hugged his friend tightly. "Everything will be okay, I promise. "


	5. Law of Attraction

_Going to the mall with, say, one close friend makes seeing someone else you know slightly (slightly) less nerve wracking. It's only ever acceptable when you happen to be with your squad of friends to seem absolutely fierce and intimidating so it would be harder for anyone to judge you. If ever you're with one friend and run into a huge squad of friends that you happen to know, you'll notice this strange feeling in your heart and mind that makes you think you are shrinking to the size of a fly, feeling weak and vulnerable. Being with your family is a whole other game._

_Jungkook was forced to go to the mall with his family, where his mother would do all the shopping and occasionally ask if Jungkook and his father wanted to buy something that she had pointed out._

_As Jungkook ashamedly trailed behind his parents, laughter had sparked in his ears. Not just anybody's laughter has the ability to catch Jungkook's attention, only two, and Jimin was babysitting. That only left one other person. With that, Jungkook had urged his family into the nearing grocery store, convincing his parents they needed more cereal and barely grasping what's left of his dignity._

_The area seemed safe, and Jungkook wasn't going to bore himself into buying groceries, so he separated from his parents to explore the small section of Men's Apparel. He walked pass an aisle only to have his armed pulled and dragged back into it. What stood before him was not one of his parents like he expected it to be._

_"T-Taehyung," the younger uttered, completely dazed at the yearning look the boy was giving him._

_"Jungkook... we_ **_need_ ** _to talk about... whatever this is._ **_Now_ ** _," the elder demanded._

_At this point, Jungkook was too stunned to even understand what either of them had been saying to each other. He vaguely remembered something about a confession that somehow slipped into the conversation, leaving Taehyung shocked, but unreadable at the same time._

Jungkook jerked his head up from his desk where he had fallen asleep with the YouTube tabs still open on his laptop. Over the past week, Jungkook had had 3 dreams about the 16-year-old, this one now being the 4th, a total of 10 dreams recorded in his journal. He and Taehyung had not exchanged a single word to each other since the infamous mall incident, so why was Taehyung so special? Jungkook had probably seen so many more attractive candidates and yet Taehyung managed to maneuver his way into Jungkook's mind and set up camp... permanently.

~

"Hey, Jungkook!" A familiar voice had called out to him. The freshman slowed his walk to let the voice catch up to him to see that it was (thankfully) Hoseok.

"Oh hi," he greeted, surprised to see that Jimin wasn't with him.

"So, you remember that orange haired dude from lunch the other day," the senior asked. The younger's breath hitched at the mention and swallowed away his anxious words.

"Oh... uh, what about him?"

Hoseok giggled to the floor, "it's a funny story actually. He thought I was you and started explaining something.... bizarre. I don't know, I just thought I should let you know."

Taehyung thought Hoseok was Jungkook. Which meant Taehyung wanted to talk to Jungkook. _Oh my god, he's not gonna talk to me the next time he sees me, is he,_ he thought. Their weren't just butterflies in his stomach anymore, their were bees stinging his insides, his abdomen cramping from anxiety and he just wanted to fall asleep forever and escape from all that is reality.

"Oh..."

"Yeah, well, I mean, I think he was calling you. He used a nickname and, to me, the only person who seemed to fit it was you, so..."

 _Kookie._ The named seemed to echo, bounce from every locker and wall in the hallway so that everyone could hear it.

Was Taehyung trying to fix things between them? No. That only happened in Jungkook's mind, the only place where a compassionate!Taehyung existed. If Taehyung tried to fix anything between them, he would think it was dream and not believe anything he was saying. There was a thin line that separated fake from reality when it came to his dreams, vivid, powerful and intense. A line _so thin_ he could legitimately feel **_everything_** _,_ every touch, every word, voice, emotion and yet, look absolutely unaffected in the real word, not even sleep talking. So when he is dreaming, everything seems so fucking real, he gets so anxious and overwhelmed at the thought of it that he wakes up to feel so empty and lifeless. Like being able to keep all of your memories from your previous life when you're reborn.

~

They say that if you dream about someone, it means that they miss you. There are only two (relatively) important questions that remain unanswered, 1) what counts as "dreaming about someone" and 2) what if you dreamt about them for more than... maybe... 10 times (give or take a few)?

Referring back to question 1, Jungkook is confused if 'side/supporting characters' in the dream meets the criteria of "dreaming about someone". He had plenty of characters in his dreams, ie. his parents, Jimin, Hoseok, Minjae and others whom he barely speaks with. Do they all miss him? He sees Jimin and his parents everyday.

If this only applies to the "main character", every time they appear in the dream, it means they miss him. But Taehyung appeared _10 times._ If this theory was true, then Taehyung really wants Jungkook back in his life. Ergo, if this were true, Jungkook would've most likely appeared in Taehyung's dreams as well. _"Does he have dreams about me too?"_ It's no doubt that Jungkook missed his quirky conversations with the boy, but he's in denial. Whatever he feels toward the boy, he wants the feeling gone and Taehyung _far_ from relevant in his life.

The concept was so ridiculous that it almost made sense to him. All day, Jungkook would try to use logic and science (something that had nothing to do with personal emotion) and fumble with the puzzle pieces.

~

Geography wasn't subject that Jungkook was particularly interested in, let alone good at. But this certain discussion kept him thinking and thinking and _thinking._

"Are you guys familiar with the 'law of attraction'?" The teacher had suddenly found it as a good time to discuss the topic.

 **"The law of attraction** is the name given to the maxim 'like attracts like' which in New Thought philosophy is used to sum up the idea that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, a person brings positive or negative experiences into their life." A classmate had found the definition and read it to the class.

"Perfect. Here's an example: my lucky number is 23. The classroom number is 123. My dad's birthday is on September 23rd. Now, I see the number 23 _everywhere,_ " she explained.

Jungkook had absolutely no idea what this theory, that will end up racking up in his brain, had to do with map study. No matter, the freshman could not stop _thinking._ It explained so much and so little (like everything else he had read). Dreaming about Taehyung, seeing him practically everywhere he went, it was all explained, but not enough. It was another "what came first" type of thing. Did these dreams cause him to constantly run into Taehyung or was it vice versa? Did Jungkook spend too much time thinking about him during summer break that it lead to these dreams which lead to the numerous encounters? Are they destined to always be around each other?

 


	6. Vibes

After three completed months of high school, Jungkook had finally managed to snatch himself a friend without the help of Jimin. Lalisa Manoban, or Lisa for short. Intimidating and fiercely attractive if you've only ever passed by her in the halls, although when you talk to her, her personality says a whole lot more. An 'adorable badass', some would say, quirky and upbeat and a smile that some would identify with a bunny, something she and Jungkook both have in common. The two went together like brother and sister, it's a mystery how they hadn't met each other before.

"Hey! Would I look better with blonde hair or brown hair?" Lisa held up one blonde and one brown hair extension on either side of her head for Jungkook to decide.

"What? Why are you carrying hair extensions around school?"

"Please! It's important!" She pouted and stamped a foot, almost crushing Jungkook's toe.

"Um... blonde, I guess..."

Lisa squeezed the boy into a suffocating embrace and pecked his cheek in joy. "Thank you! I'll tell you the big deal in geography later, okay?" She pranced down the hall with an ear-to-ear smile, positive vibes surrounding her 24/7, just like someone else he knew.

~

" _Jimin?!_ " Jungkook abruptly stood from his desk, breaking the silence of 26 students reading pages from the textbook.

" ** _Shh_** , can you not be so loud," Lisa pleaded, pulling the boy's arm to sit back down. "I'm sorry, it's just, when you introduced me to him... I don't know. But we're going out on Saturday, and I'm dying my hair on Friday."

Jungkook sighed, slumping further into the plastic chair. "It's fine. I'm just impressed with how fast Jimin made a move." In fact, Jungkook was mostly excited to make fun of his hyung and pester him about his sappy and romantic antics. But Jungkook was thinking something else. Two of his closest friends in a relationship? 1) Jungkook was already grieving the fact that he was so hopelessly single, now all his friends are in relationship and he's just alone, and 2) both of them are his _closest_ friends, _best_ friends, so what's going to happen when they break up?

~

_Most days, when geography was his last period class, he'd walk out with Lisa and head over to her locker where Jimin would be waiting for both of them. But this day, Jungkook was alone for some reason._

_As he walked down the (usually busy) empty hallway, rapid foot steps trailed behind him... beside him. It was Taehyung. For a good 5 seconds, it was silent between them and Jungkook could've sworn he heard both of their hearts pounding rocks against their chests._

_"So... when are we ever going to be more than friends," Taehyung suddenly asked as if already knowing what the answer was going to be, his doe-eyes staring holes onto Jungkook's._

_"Well, for that to happen, our feelings would have to be mutual," the younger reasoned and immediately regretted it. He didn't even understand what that meant. Was he saying that he didn't feel the same way about him or was he implying that the question was a joke and the elder didn't actually like him like that?_

Jungkook woke up feeling different. He felt like he was in control, yet he still had no idea how to stop these dreams. This was the one dream that had him questioning himself the most. What was he trying to say? Is he finally over the boy or does the boy like him back? If Jungkook really was over him, he wouldn't be dreaming of him anymore, but he still didn't believe Taehyung would actually want to be something more.

Jungkook can feel absolutely everything that happens in his dreams, like he's experienced it before. If he hadn't experienced it, how would he know and understand the feeling? The feeling of Taehyung's long fingers on his wrist to pull him closer, the feeling of Taehyung gripping his sleeve as if he was about to fall right through the floor tiles. How could Jungkook know how that feels when he himself had never felt it in reality? With that stuck in mind, he figured, if he could feel it in the dream, he had the potential to feel it for real, like it was foreshadowing his future. But was it long-term or short-term?

~

The first days of December had been nothing but frost and wind. One breath and it'd look like you just smoked six joints. The season of giving and new beginnings just around the corner as everyone else bundled up for the freezing ride. For Jungkook, it was a reminder of his oblivious decisions.

That particular day of school, it seemed like Taehyung had glued himself into Jungkook's sight all day. It was hard not to notice the intense stares being exchanged between the two. Everyone around them had probably noticed and felt uncomfortable, but was too polite to say anything. At the end of the day, as Taehyung walked out of the building, he stepped in the wrong patch of frost, nearly slipping and falling face first on the pavement and Jungkook couldn't hold back his mirth, a single (and clearly audible) chuckle escaping him.

"Spill it! What's up with this guy," Lisa demanded, staring Jungkook square in the face, her new blonde hair making her look exceedingly more intimidating.

"Who?" He played dumb hoping she was referring to anyone other than Taehyung.

Lisa and Taehyung had a lot of things in common. They both craved unnecessary skin-ship, both incredibly sociable and likeable with a naturally positive attitude and both extremely persistent. Jungkook was weak with Taehyung, whether he liked him or not, he always let Taehyung get the answer he wanted or needed. Now it was Lisa. Maybe that's why he and Lisa became such good friends.

"That orange-haired guy who kept goggling at your appearance."

Jungkook knew he had to retell the story. But retelling it also meant subconsciously reliving it, and Jungkook was not at all fervid about it. Though, he had to start somewhere, get it off his chest and admit that something actually happened instead of pretending it was a blank slate. Slowly but surely, he explained everything to Lisa on the walk back to his house.

"Wow, 11 dreams, huh..." she observed.

Jungkook nodded, trying his hardest to not overthink the situation.

"From what you've told me, and what I've seen today, it seems like he just really wants to talk to you. It seems pretty self-explanatory," she pondered, "but he's probably holding back because of your negative vibe."

"My _what?_ Negative vibe?" Jungkook questioned, unaware that he even gave off _any_ type of vibe.

"Yeah, whenever he was around today, you just looked so negative and scary toward him."

Jungkook's 'negative vibe' was his way of showing that he no longer thought of Taehyung anymore. Or, that's what he intended. Instead, it showed indifference? Lisa was right about that, but the freshman still doubted that Taehyung wanted anything to do with him. Her and Taehyung were so alike in so many ways, it was hard to not trust her judgement. Yet, Jungkook made no impact on the elder boy's life other than being some annoying kid who liked him... a lot. Why on earth would Taehyung feel the need to have Jungkook back in his life? So far, if Jungkook's life was book, the entire thing would be about Taehyung. But in Taehyung's book, Jungkook was only a chapter.

 


	7. What Went Wrong

Jungkook's dreams were getting more and more realistic. The settings were all places he's been to before, real existing places that he had stepped foot in. They involved more people whom he was familiar with, or at least, people who are suppose to represent those he's familiar with. Every once in a while, sometimes it included real inside knowledge, which only further convinced him the dream was real. It's realistic, vivid and inclusively animated, but still blurry, the only clear concept was Taehyung clinging to his side and not wanting to let go.

He had a dream that Taehyung was pestering him at a mall. A mall that Jungkook had only recently discovered and liked going to often. The dreams were caught up with real life, almost like it was constantly being updated on the new clothes that were bought, or places that were often visited. The first 5 or 7 dreams, Jungkook was getting use to it, was able to tell the difference and lower his expectations for what might've been. But now, it's like it's living, been gaining strength and developing a whole other life centred around that one incident a year ago.

You see, Jungkook wouldn't be so upset about the humiliating fiasco last year if Taehyung hadn't said something not too long before.

**_Taehyung:_ ** _oh cmonnnn, I promise I won't tell anyyyyyyone_

To Jungkook, he figured that applied to any time he was ready to tell the elder who he liked. He thought Taehyung was the type to remember the little things, ergo, Jungkook was okay with letting Taehyung know, even if it did lead to his first heartbreak, Taehyung would keep it a secret. So when the elder's friends pestered the younger boy about his puppy-love crush on Taehyung, that only meant that Taehyung told someone. Whether it be for advice, or gossip, he still told someone and Jungkook couldn't have been more embarrassed for thinking he could be trusted.

~

_It was the end of the day at school. Jungkook and Lisa decided to hang around longer than usual for a reason that was not explained. They roamed around the_ _halls_ _for ten minutes as they passed by Taehyung and his friend. If Jungkook wasn't so caught up in Lisa's "riveting" story about dancing, he'd swear he heard Taehyung's friend whisper, "Look, its Kookie."_

_That's when Lisa suddenly left him alone sitting at a table in the empty Caf. Like usual when he's alone,_ _the freshman_ _was scrolling through Instagram to keep him occupied when someone behind him grabbed his shoulders. Startled (and by instinct), Jungkook quickly stood up to defend himself, only to find Taehyung._

_Before_ _Jungkook had a chance to even muster a sound, Taehyung_ _was_ _already explaining something. Something about mutual feelings, but the younger wasn't able to let him finish as..._

Jungkook woke up, a little disappointed. He felt if he let Taehyung finish, he'd finally understand... _something_. You need to know, this was the first time Jungkook actually let the older boy explain himself instead of ignoring him like he did before. Taehyung was finally explaining himself, and Jungkook suspected it was because the younger had confessed something to him in another dream not too long before, and that gave him the motivation to clarify his sight on things. It's like they were all in chronological order, in its own timeline or universe and Jungkook wasn't prepared to see the end of that universe.

~

"You went from 11 to 13 dreams in just a _weekend?_ Jungkook, you need to stop thinking about him," Jimin advised.

Lisa rolled her eyes at Jimin's useless instruction. "You don't think I'm trying not to? You can't just not think about someone when they suddenly come up in conversation, let alone 13 dreams. He's not even in my mind before I go to sleep and yet, 13 dreams later, _I'm still here!_ " Jungkook raged.

The conversation felt heavy as there was a long pause before anyone spoke. "So... have you talked to him yet," Lisa asked Jimin, trying to keep the discussion calm.

"Kind of. We were doing a lab in science together but Jungkook never came up. Only when we were about leave he was like, 'Tell Jungkook I said hi'."

Jungkook looked up from the ground, not realizing he was staring craters into it the entire time, his face in shock and alarmed. "Oh..." was the only thing to come out of his mouth. Then he was angry again. "What the hell?! I pass by him in the hallways literally all the fucking time! Why can't he just say that to me himself instead of getting you to do it for him?!"

"Hey, hey! Geez, calm yourself. We went over this already. Remember 'negative vibe'?" Lisa recalled.

Jungkook was irritated at how knowledgable Lisa was. It was hard to argue with her, she was so skilled at reading people and always knew what people wanted to hear. You could say she was very intuitive, one of the reasons why she was so likeable. Consequently, if she and Taehyung were so alike, would that mean Taehyung was also intuitive? Was Taehyung just like Lisa and everything more? If so, should Jungkook trust Lisa's judgement?

An idea sprung in Jungkook's mind. "Lisa, what would you do? I mean, like, if you were in Taehyung's position," the boy asked particularly scrutinizing.

Lisa was quiet, precisely contemplating her exact reaction to the situation. Her eyebrows furrowed, causing a worried Jimin to put his hand on her shoulder to secure her, as if she was about to breakdown. "Honestly, there's not much I can say. I don't know his side of the story, if he's been dreaming of you too, that's sort of vital information to know..."

Jungkook's expression of hope and anticipation faded into a look of loss and emptiness. Lisa seemed to notice as she quickly bounced back with some (somewhat) comforting words. "But, hey, let's just say, even if he isn't dreaming of you, I'd think he just wants to be your friend again. Or, at least, loosen the tension between you two. If I were him, I'd think I'd be a little restless carrying all this uneasiness with me to sleep," Lisa lingered her thoughts around the last part when her eyes suddenly widened, "and... maybe... _that's_ why you keep having dreams about him! He can't stop thinking about the tension between you, maybe he wonders what went wrong and because of that, you have dreams that would fix what went wrong!"

 


	8. Afraid of the Outcome

_As Jungkook and Taehyung's friendship slowly blossomed, Jungkook wasn't very confident in approaching the boy yet. He felt they weren't close enough yet and he'd seem clingy if he always stuck to the elder's side, so he usually waited for Taehyung to approach him first, which he did. Though, through Skype calls or text messages, Jungkook did not hesitate to make the first move._

_Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung usually hung out on weekends and when they did, it always consisted of non-stop play-fighting between the two "newlywed" friendship (Jungkook's way of denying his feelings for Taehyung). They'd go back and forth, throwing punches at each other that stop just a few inches in front of their faces, kicking and slapping each other's butts, and, by the end of the day, they'd gang up on a poor defenceless Jimin who was always 10o per cent done. The two younger boys would then throw one last punch to the other, or one more slap to the ass before saying goodbye._

_Except this day, it was unfittingly awkward between them. Jungkook was about to leave and wanted to finally perform that one martial arts kick that he had mastered. The younger prepared himself, expecting to block a slap to his face from the elder (like he usually did) and then perform "his art" of self-defence.  The younger walked up to Taehyung, expecting to throw down only to see Taehyung's arms spread wide for a hug. And what does Jungkook do? The boy who had been expecting a WWE wrestling match was suddenly greeted with an action of endearment and all he was able to do was let instinct take over; all he could do was pat the elder's head and push him to the side, implying that he did not want Taehyung's hug._

Jungkook recalled the memory as he mentally went through all of the awkward moments he's experienced in grade school. He replayed it over and over, as he harshly face-palmed himself into a hell of cringe and failure.

It occurred to him that he and Taehyung never really properly hugged each other, despite Taehyung's common cravings for affection. The first time they "hugged" was approximately during the third time they met up after first meeting each other (before Jungkook realized his feelings for the boy). Everyone around the two seemed to be hugging and, being the founder of #ForeverAlone™, Jungkook didn't want to feel left out. Henceforth, the closest person to his height who wasn't already hugging someone else seemed to be the perfect target as he launched his arms around Taehyung's neck, the elder too frozen from surprise to return the embrace. Jungkook was able to play it off as a stupid joke, although, he was secretly sobbing at his awkward behaviour.

So, as Jungkook reminisced about his time of friendship with Taehyung, he couldn't help but wonder what it would've felt like if Taehyung accepted his hug the first time or if Jungkook didn't push him away the second time. What would it feel like to be wrapped in Taehyung's tall and slender body and feel his warmth radiating off of him?

 _Fuck you Taehyung,_ Jungkook thought, _just let me hate you and forget about you and get out of my fucking life!_ After all this time away from the damned boy, Jungkook should've moved on and forgotten all about him. Instead, he felt deprived like he deserved more time to make more memories with him because it just wasn't enough and for that, Jungkook's frustration translated into more than a slight distaste toward the elder. But really, Jungkook was mad at himself; mad that he confessed to Taehyung too early and mad that he was too much of a pussy to approach him again.

That was his dilemma. He was torn between "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be" and "if you want it, then go get it".  Is Taehyung worth chasing for, should Jungkook make the first move? Or should he wait and see what happens, let Taehyung initiate the conversation like he usually did?

~

_The only way Jungkook would ever talk to Taehyung is if he was forced to. For example, if they were both trapped in a closet together, Jungkook has no choice but to at least converse about escaping and, maybe (if they get on the topic somehow), talk about personal life._

_This was one of those times, except, in this weeks highlight; Jungkook and Taehyung were grouped together for some sort of task with a couple other people. Jungkook rationed the idea of being "professional", this is just work and nothing else._ Don't let yourself slip, _he warned himself._

_Things seemed to be going well, there was still tension between the boys, but they were able to look past it and focus on what was more important. That is until a group member pulled Jungkook aside to talk privately. What she said next had the boy's hair on the back of his neck stand up stiff, "Taehyung likes you. You've already won, you can't lose. Do something!"_

_Although, being the typical Jungkook he is, he didn't believe it and did absolutely nothing._

And dream #14 was recorded. Was Jungkook suppose to see that as a wake-up call? Or a premonition? It was either, "now's your chance to fix things" or a warning saying, "don't be so oblivious again, you could make things worse".

~

"Here's what I suggest; _talk to him!_ " Lisa, more so, demanded than suggest. "It can go two ways. 1) you were right and he wants nothing to do with you again so he'll just continue to ignore you after that like usual. Or 2) you both fix what happened and you can finally get the time you feel you deserve with each other. Either way, you'll have closure."

There was nothing Jungkook could say to counteract Lisa's advice. Jungkook wanted closure from the very beginning no matter what the outcome would be. But now he's afraid of the outcome. In other words, he still cares about what Taehyung thinks and wants him back in his life and if it doesn't go well for him, he'll probably never to be able to face the boy for the rest of his life. If it doesn't go well, Jungkook would never be able to hear Taehyung's name the same way because it would be scarred with torment and grief. Hell, his name had already been bruised enough for Jungkook to feel stressed when it's heard because Taehyung caused his first heartbreak and, dare he thinks it, Taehyung just might be his first love.

 


	9. The Drought

All 14 of Jungkook's dreams about the elder had been squished and executed in a little over 6 months, the most recent one being in December. It was March now with no new dreams recorded into his journal ever since. This was the longest he's gone having dreamless nights. In fact, he hadn't seen much of the elder at school either probably due to the beginning of a new semester with all new classes. It seemed like Taehyung suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth, Jungkook even wondered if he still went to the same school.

Jungkook referred to this as a "drought" of sorts. He didn't know what he should've been feeling toward this "drought". Sure, Jungkook hated constantly thinking about Taehyung, but these dreams still kept that 2 percent of hope that him and the elder would somehow reconcile pushed to the back of his mind. Jungkook decided to see this as a time to finally forget and move on. With Taehyung incognito for a while, the younger would be able to live without him. However, Jungkook knew things can never go too well for this long. This drought was being held together by a dam, a dam that would soon break and everything would come flooding back into Jungkook's brain waves and destroy him. He's not prepared to be overwhelmed because anything and everything that had something to do with Taehyung got clogged only to build up to the point that it's pressure was too much to handle and explode.

 _No,_ Jungkook reassured himself, _it's over now. There's no way I could have anymore dreams._ The thought of having more than 6 dreams about someone, let alone 14, would make you seem crazy and (deeply) attached. If he reached 20 dreams, well, he probably wouldn't do anything about it, but he'd consider himself officially insane and break any contact with any other human being forever. _It's over..._

~

The town's annual fair had just arrived for this weekend. As it was an annual thing, Jungkook didn't understand the hype or why so many people wanted to go. It's not like you'd miss out on anything new or old, it'll be back next year. Then again, for all of the 14 years he's lived there, he had never gone to experience it, so Lisa was excited to be there for Jungkook's first ever experience there. She insisted and, to prevent Jungkook from being a third wheel, him and Jimin would go Friday night, him and Lisa on Saturday and then Lisa and Jimin on Sunday.

"You've missed 14 years of fun fair activities. It's only fair if you go twice in one year," she rationed.

And, of course, Jungkook was weak for Lisa's " _Taehyung-like"_ antics and could not say no.

The first night of the fair, Jimin took care of the traditional fair food and the rides, minus the Farris wheel (Lisa wanted to do that). Nothing too special that night, it just seemed like a ( _very_ ) cheap and exceedingly dangerous version of Disney World that smelled like cow shit and was ridiculously overpriced. It was kind of boring if Jungkook was completely honest, he was just happy to be with his Hyung.

On Saturday, Lisa made sure to play all of the games and win at least two prizes for them both, and watch the talent show. Again, nothing spectacular, only the usual pricey carnival games that are rigged so no one could ever win. Though, the show had multiple performances from those who auditioned. The town was small and plain, hence, the talent was mediocre and not very eye-opening.

The only "eye-opening" event throughout Jungkook's time watching (not so much as paying attention) wasn't even a performance, because just a couple metres beside Jungkook and Lisa was Taehyung and Minjae. Jungkook looked to his right only to be greeted with a surprise and, coincidentally, Minjae just so happened to look in his direction at the exact same time. _I'm so screwed,_ the younger thought.

"Lisa? Lisa... oh my god!" The boy frantically slapped Lisa's shoulder to divert her attention away from the show as she happily clapped to the rhythm of the music without a care in the world. "Lisa..."

The girl shot an irritated look toward the boy as he did interrupt her fun. " _What?_ "

"He's here," he tried to explain as vaguely as possible just in case anyone else could hear him. Lisa looked at him blankly. "Look... over... there..." Jungkook subtly nodded his head over his shoulder to the, newly, brown-haired boy.

Of course, of all the places in the world, the first time seeing the boy since the drought was in the place where he least expected it. It was no doubt Taehyung knew of his presence too as Minjae leaned closer to the elder after accidentally making eye contact with the younger. Jungkook didn't dare to look back at them, but he knew Taehyung glanced in his direction.

Lisa rolled her eyes at Jungkook's anxious expressions, remembering the advice she had given him all too well and sticking by it. " _Talk to him! [...] Either way, you'll have closure_." But he couldn't do that.

~

_Jungkook quietly sat down in his usual seat minding his own business and sketched away on a spare sheet of paper while waiting for class to start. When, suddenly, Taehyung plopped himself into the seat right behind him._

_The younger ignored him, hoping that their unspoken agreement to pretend neither of them existed still applied. But it didn't, as Taehyung was vigorously tapping on the back of the younger's chair and whispered, "We need to talk about... that day..."_

_The next thing he knew, he found himself in the elder's house to sort things out while both of their parents became good friends and... got each other's blessings?_

Of course Jungkook would have a dream about him that night. The same night he was caught off guard by the sighting of a certain boy with a new hair cut since the last time he saw him. The floodgates had opened, no, exploded so that everything would come crashing down all at once. Dream #15 was recorded that night with #16 following right after.

_Lisa made the bold decision to drag Jungkook out of the house and, somehow, trapped him back inside of Taehyung's house... again. But, at first, Jungkook didn't know, so he settled and waited for what Lisa had planned. He figured it was one of Lisa extravagant bonding nights where they'd talk about the feelings they've held back._

_When Taehyung arrived, Jungkook felt himself charging his fist, ready to knock a bitch out as Lisa just smirked. His heart raced a million miles a second with hatred and his pupils dilated with fear and... lust? Then Jimin suddenly entered and settled into the sofa (Jungkook was surprised he didn't bring popcorn with him) to watch the insanity unfold._

_It was like Jimin and Lisa were keeping him as their fucking hostage. The entire time Jungkook had been stuck in this house, Taehyung would not stop annoying him, clinging to him, teasing him. Jungkook, naturally, tried to avoid the elder, but it seemed impossible. Where ever Jungkook sat down, Taehyung would sit right beside him and if he tried to switch spots, Taehyung, being persistent as always, would follow him. The younger did not give up in pushing him away, it was similar to the way they would play fight when they were friends. Except, this time, Jungkook was genuinely annoyed. But the elder did not take a hint as he said with a smirk, "'guess I'm just gonna have to annoy you until you like me, just like before."_

Those floodgates were huge for a reason, to hold back as many thoughts of Taehyung as possible. So when they finally gave in, it meant the large floodgates could no longer bare the larger (and stronger) thoughts of the boy. Was Jungkook stuck in this cycle forever? Was he destined to always have Taehyung in his memory? Are these dreams going to haunt him forever? He prayed, to every god and goddess, to every planet and galaxy, that this dream counter does not reach passed 25 at _least._

 


	10. The Desired Ending

The school year ended in an anticlimactic manner. Jungkook was expecting to have had _some_ interaction with Taehyung by that time. But of course, nothing. The drought was back and lasted all the way to the end of July.

It was a strange journey for Jungkook. With Taehyung slowly out of sight and out of mind, Jungkook got the chance to focus on _his_ life. He managed to find a stable friend group of 5 (4 if you only count the people in his grade) instead of roaming between squads to see if they were worth being his  "go-to" friends or just fake. It was because of his squad roaming that he began to think people were talking behind his back because he had suddenly just left them for another friend group. _I'm not important though,_ he rationed, _it's not like I've known them my whole life anyway._

Jungkook was also able to focus on his future plans. Being a 14-year-old, there wasn't much to plan out yet, but he did realize his passion for writing and directing. Educational wise, he took it upon himself to take summer school to get some credits out of the way. So when the school year finally ended, he didn't think too much of the social events to plan as he only had a week of break and it was back to learning. Although, this time, it was cramming an entire semester worth of learning a course into four weeks.

But even then, the drought continued. However, the boy still had his doubts. Though, in reality, everything between him and Taehyung was open-ended, he figured his dreams would end with closure because that's the way he wanted it. To Jungkook's assumption, he was having these dreams to live out the ending that he wanted but didn't get. Henceforth, these dreams will end when he gets anything closest to closure as possible.

~

 _It was the first day of summer school. As Jungkook walked into class, he was presented with the news of Taehyung volunteering as his teacher's assistant._ **Wonderful** , _he agonized. The only thing you could expect from Jungkook's circumstance was more awkward eye contact and a game of dodge ball, except the balls are replaced with stares and dodging means quickly looking away whenever one would look back._

_After that was done and dealt with, (fast forward to winter) Lisa, Jimin, Minjae, Hoseok, heck, even some of the friend groups Jungkook use to be part of were pushing him toward Taehyung. Or, in this case, pushing him under the mistletoe so that the elder can sweep him off his feet with a kiss and everything would work out like a cliché movie. Why was everyone so keen on getting the two to reconcile?_

_Jungkook, being his usual stubborn-self, pried himself away from all of the chaos, isolated himself to think and recollect the clutter of a mess that his heart had made. He must've looked so lost and overwhelmed because, in the corner of his eye, Taehyung was walking toward him looking so determined. His friends not too far behind (but far enough) to watch. Without a word, the elder, with every ounce of dauntlessness within him, kissed Jungkook on the cheek and left._

Jungkook woke up shocked. Externally, he was a blank slate. However, internally, he felt his organs jumble as one and bounce uncontrollably against him. His mind was blank but his heart was beating at maximum speed, the two contrasting rather than conforming. Dream #17 contained, probably and most likely, the biggest and most effective interaction between the two. _It_ ** _has_** _to be over now,_ Jungkook concluded out of exhaustion. What an odd number to end on.

~

It seemed Jungkook's wish had come true. October approached and his dream journal was still on hold at #17, even after a full month of school. He still hadn't seen the elder around school as much, but, no doubt, he still attended the same school as both of their names appeared on the honor-roll list and in the year book. Was it finally over? Was that the ending that Jungkook wanted? How could that mean closure if it only left more questions?

 _No._ Jungkook put Taehyung aside. _It's over now. No more worrying._ Jungkook was 15 now, which meant a new beginning. With that in mind, Jungkook was able to focus on his life again, enjoy the social life he never had and practice writing to pursue his passion. He did what he enjoyed, though, nothing really stopped him in the first place. He still had Taehyung cornered to the back of his mind, however. The one thought that he could come creeping back into his life again, shoved as far back as possible.

~

The first month of school, Taehyung was nowhere to be seen. In the first week of October, nothing. Jungkook had adapted to absolutely zero Taehyung, so he didn't expect _anything._ However, on one faithful day after school, when the universe had timed it so perfectly, Jungkook decided to stay a little longer before leaving and hang with friends in the foyer when a pair of glasses walked by. Kim (fucking) Taehyung was wearing glasses? After all this time of healing and neglecting any thoughts and sights of Taehyung, he comes back looking like a lame and, dare he say it, cute nerd.

This is just like the time they finally followed each other on Instagram. _Jesus Christ! It's just a pair of glasses,_ Jungkook thought, internally face palming. Jungkook knew  it wasn't a big deal, but was that going to stop him from overthinking? **Nope**. Everyone has new beginnings throughout their life. Taehyung's was getting glasses. Because of this, Jungkook couldn't help but be paranoid of the dreams that had yet to come.

They passed by each other twice more in the last two days of the week. _Oh boy. What a comeback._ Jungkook was expecting a dream sometime soon, only, the dream wasn't his. 

~

 **Jimin:** BRO

 **Jungkook:** Yes?

 **Jimin:** I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU AND TAE

 **Jungkook:** OH CHRIST IM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT

_Jimin was walking to class like usual, except it wasn't 'usual' for some reason. Jungkook wasn't there, probably for valid reasons. Although, when the senior arrived to class, he was shocked to see Jungkook already at a seat. Though, what shocked him wasn't the fact that Jungkook, being younger than him, was in his class, no. It was because of a certain arm wrapped around him, Kim Taehyung's arm._

_Out of instinct, the senior quickly dragged Jungkook to the side away from the infamous boy. "Umm, what the_ **_fuck_ ** _? Wha- I- wh- Taehyung?"_

_"We... uh... worked things out... kinda. Well, we're going to try, anyway," the younger explained, surprisingly casual._

_After that, Jimin and Jungkook were hanging out at the skatepark when two familiar figures were slowly approaching them. Low and behold, it was Taehyung and Minjae. Minjae, using his charm and appeal ever so expertly, pulled Jimin to the side before he could object, while Jungkook and Taehyung split off to do their own thing. A couple minutes into this fiasco, Minjae managed to divert Jimin's full attention onto himself only for Jimin to look in the corner of his eye and find Taehyung and Jungkook mending all broken bonds and locking lips._

**Jimin:** It was an extremely intense dream

 **Jungkook:** ...

No, Jungkook was _not_ expecting this. It didn't help that most of Jimin's dreams came true. What was he suppose to think? Sure, Jungkook had stopped dreaming about this, but what does it mean when someone else dreams about it? Especially if it adds to the other dreams in a (an almost) perfect timeline. Jungkook thought he had these dreams because it was what he wanted. But what now?

 


	11. The End Pieces

_"Do you think he... has dreams of me too?"_ The sudden question had returned from the grave to haunt Jungkook's thoughts. Physically, everything was normal, but mentally, there was a lot going on. After the recent events, his mind was flooded with questions. After the recent events, he found the corresponding puzzle pieces as well. The kind of puzzle pieces that looked similar to each other and looked like they would fit together but really you needed one more piece in between them to connect it all, the end pieces but no middle piece. Jungkook had the end pieces.

~

Over the years Jungkook had known Jimin, Jimin was usually the person who would never remember his dreams and if he did remember, they would come true. But they were always small, something as small as saying the same sentence in the dream and in real life but no one ever actually knew he dreamt about it until after reality lived up to it and he decided to tell them. So, was this dream destined to become reality? If Jimin hadn't told Jungkook about it, would have come true already?

"I've done some research about this whole dream thing," Lisa stated.

"Aren't you getting tired of always talking about this," Jungkook asked feeling embarrassed as his dignity was slowly wading away.

"No... and I lied, I didn't do any research. I'm going with my gut," Lisa explained. "If a majority of Jimin's dreams come true, there's no reason why this one shouldn't seeing as everything seemed to be so realistic. It's been, what, a week? It didn't come true yet because _you-_ " Lisa pointed a finger inches away from Jungkook's nose accusingly, "-don't have the potential."

Offended, Jungkook huffed as he aggressively dismissed his friend's finger from his face. "I can do _whatever_ I want," he said as a-matter-of-factually.

Lisa laughed. "Wrong!" The boy jumped at the sudden hype of her voice. "In the dream, you can express your emotions. In reality, you can't. Therefore, dream-no-come-true." She explained simply, the sarcasm clear in her tone.

If it weren't for her sarcasm, Jungkook would have actually considered her wisdom. But, alas, the boy was stubborn. "'Fuck 'you mean I can't express my emotions? When have I ever held back my emotions? _Hm?_ "

"A lot, actually. Ergo, bonding nights with a movie. _Duh_. But, even then, you don't fully express yourself. You think I can't tell, but I can see you holding back."

"Yea, because there's nothing to be a emotional about... _Duhh,_ " he repeated back.

Dreams are mysterious and Lisa's insight was logical enough to believe. Dreams can be scientific-based or intuition-based and if, in this case scenario, they were intuition-based, Lisa was the perfect detective. She was good at predicting and analyzing the little things, especially emotions. Henceforth, her observations on Jungkook's negative vibe and his lack of inner-self expression. There was no better person to turn to than Lisa. Her reasoning seemed legit, leave for the fact that dreams are still not fully understood by some of the top scientists in the world, but it was better than nothing.

"God, stop being so fucking difficult. You haven't done anything I've advised you to do. Just listen?" Her tone was softer and less demanding, less arrogant for Jungkook's comfort. She knew how to do that too.

It was true, Jungkook can't express his emotions. He was uncomfortable with the thought of letting someone else know what was really going on inside. It felt invasive to him. With everything on social media, he felt this was his only privacy. The saying goes, "Things in motion tend to stay in motion", consequently the word 'motion' is in 'emotion'. That's why emotions are so hard to control. Jungkook was able to find to the lowest peak of his emotions and lock them away, he finally had control over it. If he opened up now, he wouldn't have control anymore. Everything would come flooding back to him in one giant wave all at once and he'd be an emotional wreck for weeks.

Though, Jungkook couldn't express emotions, he was able to let go of his ego. "Go on," he said nodding for Lisa to continue her analysis.

~

The first pair of end puzzle pieces was the cause of Jungkook's nickname. Taehyung came up with the name "Kookie" and continuously called him that for months. It eventually caught on, Minjae and his friends would repeat it every time Jungkook was in their sights. Jungkook saw it as teasing, which it was, but maybe it wasn't toward him. Taehyung always referred to Jungkook as "Kookie" whenever he came up in conversation, even if Jungkook wasn't physically present. Were they teasing Taehyung all this time?

"That can also apply to the mall incident too." Lisa added. "They could've been making those remarks to get a rise out of Taehyung. But, instead he remained calm and composed, and laughed it off as you took it the wrong way?"

The second pair of end pieces was the cause of the dreams. There was still the underlying question if they were meant to become reality or if they were just a glimpse into a parallel universe. That would explain the timeline they seemed to be occurring in. So why did Jimin have a dream about it? Was Jimin the only other person to dream about it? Though all of the dreams seemed to be in chronological order, there were still missing chunks to the (sort of) story line.

"It's kind of random that Jimin, of all people, would be the one to dream about it." Jungkook rationed.

"Yea... but maybe not. He _was_ there to experience everything with you since the beginning. But with that reasoning... Taehyung should be dreaming of this too. Maybe Minjae as well," Lisa concluded.

"Wait. _Minjae?_ " The boy questioned.

"Possibly. He was there just as long as Taehyung."

"Hold up one second! Would they have the _same_ dreams as me and Jimin?" Jungkook scrutinized, suspiciously aware of what the answer might be.

Lisa's eyes widened as she dropped her hand from her cheek to slam on the table. "No... maybe they have the missing chunks of the dreams? Oh gosh, my brain can't handle the amount of cliché right now."

 


	12. Simple Interactions

Why does Jungkook need closure in the first place? After at least a year of absolute agony and neglect, it's been pretty well established that Taehyung wants and needs nothing Jungkook has to offer. Jungkook knows he stands as a stranger now because the memories they made before were merely just a filler until Taehyung found his place in life and left Jungkook on the curb to be thrown away. Jungkook would have so easily forgotten about everything if it weren't for one thing, something so mysterious that an explanation will never truly explain because it is absolutely unpredictable. Jungkook is a person of logic, using science, or something close to it, to reason and tolerate a situation. But something like this that can't be 100 percent based off hard scientific fact throws him off and wonders if there really is something beyond.

As a boy of no expression willing to finally open up, Jungkook had started journaling more. Not necessarily about his feelings for Taehyung, but his life as a whole. It's best to write and sort out your mess of emotions before blowing it all out of proportion to someone. Fully express yourself to you first, understand yourself first; come to terms with your impulses and fears and then you'll be able to accept the fact that others can understand you too. He's only been able to write his recent days. Anything before that will end in a shipwreck of unorganized sobbing.

Jungkook, a boy with no outer expression, coped with the worst emotions in a peculiar way. The aspiring writer took his most traumatizing thoughts and memories, and placed them within his own fictional character and started writing his story. He dealt with his emotions as if they weren't his own, but of a fictional character in a fictional story. After all, people seem to grow a personal liking to fictional characters in a fake universe rather than the real one.

Throughout his days, he'd sit alone in silence and think of ways to progress his story. In other words, he contemplates his emotions and puts it into words for his character. Everything he thinks of, dreams of, fears of, it's almost like it's taken out of him and into something stronger to take his place. He does this everyday, and the results are starting to show.

~

Jungkook went school one day feeling... different. He felt less like an outsider who can barely catch a glance from a fly on a wall; he felt (in ways) accepted, or at least, a person people can put a name to. He had walked through school corridors of angsty teenagers and actually smiled toward them, and they had smiled back. _What a strange thing_ , he thought. There was no harm in smiling anymore because showing happiness didn't seem like a weakness anymore.

Jungkook felt he was strutting through the crowd looking proud to be himself. He was on a roll and nothing could stop him. He turned a corner into an emptier hallway to see Taehyung walking in his direction. It was as if Jungkook's mood would not surrender to his anxious thoughts of the boy. As the boys were about to pass each other, they made direct eye contact, and Jungkook actually held it for longer than a millisecond, and forced his lips to quirk upward into a friendly grin. It seemed Taehyung was caught off guard as his steps faltered out of rhythm but was quickly regained, no one seemed to notice but Jungkook did.

No, that was not a dream, it was real. The first real life interaction between the two had happened and was permanently printed in time. It didn't end at the sound of Jungkook's heart beating so rapidly that it would jolt him awake because his heart was normal now and the only sound that came right after was the first period bell.

Was this the life of someone who expressed their emotions _?_ Jungkook had wondered if this was anything close to Lisa's or Taehyung's life as they knew how to deal with their feelings. A life of not being too afraid to have a small and simple interaction with someone outside of your comfort zone.

~

_Jungkook was scrolling through his newly created Instagram account when he came across a photo of four cartoon boys with different personalities written above their heads. "Post this on your account and see what kind of personality you have!" Jungkook, being a twelve-year-old Instagram noob, convinced himself to post it on his own account._

_The four options were "the athletic one", "the fun one", "the gamer", and "the shy one". As a result of being a noob, Jungkook didn't get too many comments, but when he did, they said he was "the gamer" or "the athlete". But Taehyung commented, "the fun and shy one."_

Huh, _Jungkook thought,_ those are, like, opposites. Aren't they?

Jungkook thought back to the memory cringing but also asking more questions. Questions that seemed a little extra, but at this point, Jungkook was too confused to care. Back when him and Taehyung were friends, it never occurred to him that friends think about each other. They think about what they could do together over the weekend while keeping in mind what the other would be comfortable with. Taehyung thought of Jungkook as someone fun to be around but also shy. Has his views of the younger changed?

~

The two boys passed by each other a second time, Jungkook didn't smile again, but he did hold eye contact until he was out of a head-straight view. Neither of them knew how to feel about it; Jungkook had no idea what he was doing or why he was being so, call it what you will, bold. He mentally face-palmed that he straightens himself out now when Taehyung will graduate in the next semester and be gone forever. But isn't that what he wanted?

"What did you do," Lisa shouted sliding herself in the seat across from Jungkook's during lunch.

"Uhm... I ate an apple today." Jungkook didn't notice the way Lisa was clutching her phone toward her chest.

"I go to Instagram, like one does when they're bored, and see that someone dm'd me-" Lisa tapped once on her phone and shoves the bright screen displaying the messages in his face, "-does that username look familiar?"

 **Kim.th** : hey, you're friends with Jungkook, right?

"Wait a second! He's typing right now!" The boy snatched the phone from her grip to closely examine the next few messages that have the potential to change his life.

 **Kim.th** : oh my god, plssss don't tell him I'm talking to you

 


	13. Dreamy Reality

It had been three days since Lisa's latest updates about her conversation with Taehyung. Lisa is a woman of her word and promised Taehyung to not show Jungkook anything they've been talking about, but Jungkook never restricted Lisa of telling the elder about what they've talked about.

_"Give me my phone!" Lisa jabbed her water bottle into the boy's forearm to retrieve her phone just before Jungkook could see what message was being typed._

_She glanced down at the screen and after a few seconds her eyes widened. Assuming that Taehyung sent the message Jungkook had seen being typed, the younger threw himself across the table to catch a glimpse at the message only to abruptly have his face in between Lisa's hands. "Jungkook, I promise I'll tell you about it, but you're going to have to wait for now." She released her hands from Jungkook's cheeks and proceeded to walk out of the cafeteria while twiddling her thumbs on her phone screen._

Jungkook only grew more and more irritated at the thought of what Lisa could be telling the boy. But what on earth would Taehyung do with any of that information? Would he tell all his friends and embarrassing him again? He suddenly became self-aware, blocking out the rest of the world and only focusing on his movements, his breaths, his heart beat, the way he glares at floor while walking. The things he never really needed to think about and put effort into were all that he could manage to pay attention to.

He was completely consumed in his own world of paranoia and anxiety as he skillfully swerved through the crowd of people in the hallway, bumping shoulders from time to time, though. He was distracted, the way one would be when texting and walking at the same time, and, for the next few moments, he was 100% spaced out and lost all track of what had happened as he found himself gripping a pair of biceps from a familiar figure, but taller. Strong hands around his waist and a phone laying by his feet.

 _Oh god_ , Jungkook thought before even looking up. His eyes digging holes into the broad chest before him, and a beaded necklace resting on exposed collarbones. The younger boy glanced upward and caught the brown, doe-eyes of Kim Taehyung for what seemed like a thousand years. Both boys were still and stiff, neither knew how to approach the situation.

Over the elder's shoulder, Jungkook saw Jimin turn into the corridor across from them. They briefly made eye contact until Taehyung's gaze pulled him back to his eyes and he felt the elder's grip tighten around his waist.

Jungkook, with all his effort, forced his foot backward nudging Taehyung's phone to the left, and he snapped back to reality. They both looked down at the now cracked phone and both made the decision to pick it up. Jungkook's hand brushed Taehyung's knuckles and quickly retracted.

"Uh, heh... shit... sorry... I spaced out?" Jungkook stood up, leaving the elder crouching on the floor, and bolted for his hyung on the other side.

If Jungkook hadn't rushed for an escape, he would have noticed the name on the phone screen displaying a conversation with someone on Instagram. If he had stayed, he would have known who he was texting and he's betting it was Lisa.

"Jimin, Jimin, Jimin, oh my god, _Jimin_." Jungkook tugged on his hyung's jacket away from the 'crime scene' to the closest stairwell.

"Yes, Jungkook, Jimin is my name. Please say something that makes sense?"

Jungkook stared at the floor with wide eyes silently before internally screaming. "... _Fuck!_ What the _fuck?!_ " The boy stomped his foot before leaning his forehead on the wall.

He felt a vibration in his pocket, a vibration specified for his closest friends, e.i. Jimin and Lisa. Jimin certainly wasn't texting him in that moment.

"He's been talking to Lisa, you know," Jungkook exclaimed in frustration, "and she 'can't tell me' what they're talking about. Fucking _bullshit!_ "

"Hey! Jungkook, breathe for a second! You're wheezing," Jimin warned.

Jungkook didn't even notice. He was panicking, it was the exact same feeling he felt in his very first dream. Taehyung was gone now, but that still didn't stop Jungkook from freaking out. He wanted to cry, but why? Why was he like this when Taehyung had left him behind so long ago?

Jungkook felt two more buzzes from his pocket that he continued to ignore. Seconds later, he heard Jimin's phone buzz. "Lisa's coming."

~

Jimin and Lisa took Jungkook to the café in the plaza across the street and bought him a 'medium peppermint hot chocolate with extra whip' to bring him down from his high. The boy's cheeks were sore from holding back tears. He gripped his cup with both hands and let his eyes fall closed to try and relax his shoulders. What he needed to do was process the situation in slow motion to fully explain why he was such a wreck.

"Lisa, now would be a good time to explain what you've been talking about," Jimin scolded his girlfriend.

"Oh my god, I promise I didn't say anything. On god, I would ask for consent first." Lisa placed her hands around Jungkook's on the cup, "I didn't tell him anything. He's asked me, but I gave him nothing, not even vague responses that would give him hints, just blatant 'NOs'."

Jungkook's eyes were still closed, playing back the scene over and over and comparing it to his first dream. Taehyung's facial expression was the same, both full of guilt and asking for forgiveness. Jungkook' heart sunk to his stomach faster than the speed of gravity, the same way it did in the dream. Jimin was there to calm him down but he only grew angrier and anxious, panicking in the same way.

"Jungkook, I've never seen you like this before, did Taehyung affect you that much," questioned Jimin, concern splattered all over his eyes.

Jungkook tried to find the words, but he had so many questions he didn't know where to start. His mind had melted into mush, any comprehensible thought would only come out as a whine. He only thought of words separately, sentences took too much effort.

Yes, Taehyung affected Jungkook greatly in ways that he could not understand, let alone, describe. All this time he called it a school crush, puppy love. He didn't know what he wanted anymore, all that he knew was that he wanted it to be over.

Jungkook finally opened his eyes, glossy with unshed tears, after what seemed like days. He took a deep breath and managed to come up with the first question he wanted answered the most. "Be-before I continue... with-with anything, I-I just need to know if-if he... dreams of me too..."

 


	14. Save Your Goodbye

It was December and Jungkook hadn't dreamed of Taehyung since the beginning of August (if you count out Jimin's dream). It doesn't take three Einsteins and a psychic to know that something was up. Maybe it was the next milestone. The dreams were history and they would never be anything more. All that would be left was the present and the future that would finally take place in the real world. Jungkook was relieved because these glimpses into another world had given him a taste of what might've been and he couldn't get enough of it. They teased him and he just wanted to feel the real thing instead of being tricked into thinking he's been through it all before.

Jungkook wanted the dreams to stop because he knew that once they did, they would come true. He knew that from the very beginning and he wanted that from the very beginning. But he played dumb, was blinded by denial to consider the other possibilities. It was possibly because of his denial that nothing was happening in the real world now, his second year of high school in December.

~

A bitter-sweet event that occurred earlier in the week tugged at Jungkook's sleeves. He came home from an almost-decent day at school and a callback for the school's Christmas show when he felt he lost a part of himself. After spending 5-6 years of his life dedicated to it, it was taken away. His family wasn't able to afford his dance classes, taught at a small underdog studio; Jungkook was considered one of their best dancers, and literally the oldest (hence the term 'small underdog'). Bitter, because it was his first dance studio and the first place he ever felt accepted and actually exceeded in something. Sweet, because his mother saw more potential in him and wanted to enroll him in a specialty hip hop studio anyway as staying with his current studio wouldn't take him anywhere (sweet, because he was worried about something other than Taehyung).

The rest of his day resulted in chopped up moments of crying, wondering how his teammates would've felt when they heard he left. His teammates who he danced with and grew so close to for 5 years, he knew their dance style and it contrasted well with his own. His teacher was fond of his skills and was looking forward to choreograph his dances in the future. A week before, when Jungkook was stretching before class started, the studio owner came in to talk about a "graduation ceremony" at recitals; directed toward the older students (including himself) who would soon find jobs and be too busy to continue dancing. " _If you know this is your last year at the studio, tell us so that we can do something special at recital,_ " Jungkook remembered her say. Jungkook wanted that, to be recognized of his talents and effort and commitment to the studio.

As money was a hard thing to gather in short amounts of time, Jungkook didn't have the slightest idea as to when he could begin dancing again. He resorted to watching dance videos on YouTube and tried learning them in record time, but failed, the small confined space that was his bedroom didn't help either. His dilemma occurred in perfect time with the school talent show where he would be performing a dance, it seemed, in his terms, _foreshadow-y_.

~

Two weeks before the show, all of the performers had stayed after school for rehearsal. A lot of people were singing with ukuleles, dances were performed in a group or duet occasionally accompanied by a percussion instrument, but Jungkook was the only solo. Lisa and Jimin were performing a duet choreographed by Jimin himself. All eyes would be on him and him only when he would perform, no else would be their to distract the audience from a mistake he made, so he practiced until his knees wobbled the next day.

Jungkook was a little displeased to hear that Taehyung would also be performing a duet with a girl named Jennie Kim; a song called, _Half Moon_ by Dean. He had no idea Taehyung could sing (that only proved that Jungkook never actually knew the elder before even further). Since they were both performing, they were both able to see each other's performances early at rehearsals, a guaranteed watch as if one of them hadn't been performing in the concert, he may not have shown up to watch anything at all.

 _You're putting too much thought into it again,_ the boy thought. Maybe he was, though, he was only thinking about Taehyung finally seeing him dance. He told the elder all about his dancing skills when they were friends but he never got show him. He talked the talk, but now he can walk the walk. It's not like dancing would show him anything important, maybe it was Jungkook's way to show he had a life not revolved around a boy he hadn't spoken to for years.

Jungkook was next for rehearsal, the lights dimmed and the theatre was quiet as he got into position in the centre of the stage.

When the lights brightened, everyone in the audience was nothing but white light, though, he could still feel their eyes.

"Can you start, like, three steps downstage?" He heard someone call out on a microphone.

He did as he was told, seconds later, the music started. He chose the song _Save Your Goodbye_ by Mike Posner, and, when it started, he immediately thought back to his classes at his studio. The song played on as he danced through every movement full-out with his teammates in mind and the feeling he felt in his lungs when he made it on the competitive team. He knew he was dancing with so much emotion, more than ever before and he wondered how the audience was reacting as their faces were nothing but mere smudges of light.

He hit is ending pose sharply, his eyes closed without intention until he heard thundering claps before him. Nobody claps during rehearsals, let alone, _that_ loud especially since everyone in the audience can basically do the same thing. But they were all still clapping, genuinely pleased with Jungkook's performance.

Due to the unexpected praise and his own awkward antics, Jungkook bowed to the audience more times than he needed to and rushed off backstage. As he opened the door to the hallway, Taehyung stood in front of him unmoving, blocking the younger of escaping.

They stared at each other for a moment that felt like hours until Jungkook stepped aside so that Taehyung could pass by him, although, Taehyung didn't bother moving. Instead his eyes followed Jungkook's movements like he was trying to figure out if he was a real person or a robot with metallic limbs.

"Uh..." the elder snapped out of his daze and glared at the floor but quickly regained eye contact with the younger. "Good job dancing." He pat his hand on Jungkook's shoulder and walked away without another word, without another stare as the younger stood there trying to decipher what the hell just happened.

 


	15. Reforget

When a person is passionate about something, sometimes they completely change their character. For Jungkook, he feels like whole new person when he dances, he feels confident and attractive. For Taehyung, as Jungkook had learned, it's when he sings.

It was Taehyung's turn for the rehearsal, him and Jennie standing on opposite sides of the stage. As the song began and as Jennie sang the first couple lines, the two stared at each other while slowly walking in circles.

The song was slow but not devastatingly slow, just enough energy to keep the vibe in theater comfortable and content and Taehyung knew just how to sing it with that same aura around him. Jungkook was finally able to hear his voice in perfect harmonies and ad-libs. His large vocal range allowed both their voices to naturally blend together at certain points and then intense at other points. He sang with a smile, a smirk of sorts that said he was relieved and just affectionate overall. In that moment, one could say he looked like he had just fallen in love. In that same moment, Jungkook had briefly witnessed the version of Taehyung that his dreams had made up.

 _Jennie's a lucky girl_ , the sophomore thought to himself only looking slightly broken.

"Yo," said Jimin, nudging the younger's left shoulder, though, he didn't react. "Are you alive?" He waved his hand in front the younger's face and after 5 seconds, Jungkook still didn't budge.

At this point, Jungkook wasn't watching the performance, he wasn't even looking at the stage. But instead, the curtains that draped at the sides. It was his strategy to keep himself from staring at Taehyung for too long: space out on an object that has nothing to do with him.

"Jungkook!" Jimin shouted one last time before back-hand slapping the boy's left cheek to almost have him tip over his seat in terror.

"What," he asked in confusion not realizing how long he was spaced out for because Taehyung's performance had ended and the one right after was just about to.

Jimin blinked at him with a straight face and knew to not ask. "Uh, I was thinking you should send your old dance studio a video of your performance... as a 'thank you', kind of."

Jungkook heard the suggestion, understood the suggestion, remembered the suggestion, but didn't bother to answer to it. Instead, he was focused on forgetting. "Jimin-hyung, can we go out tonight," he asked sounding a little too desperate.

"Oh... sorry, I can't. I have to study for my physics test. And you shouldn't be going out tonight, you have a game tomorrow."

"Fine..." Jungkook slouched back into his seat while glaring at nothing, a petty look on his face.

~

It was around 6pm when Jungkook was home alone trying to distract himself from any thoughts of Taehyung because the Taehyung he saw today was the one from his dreams. He hated that Taehyung. He hated all forms of Taehyung. Then the doorbell rang.

Stood before him in the doorway was a friendly bunny smile framed with blonde hair and orange highlights. "Surprise!" Lisa squealed with jazz hands.

"Oh, c'mon. I thought we said no more 'bonding nights', especially last minute ones," Jungkook complained.

"It's not. I just had this gut feeling to come over and hang out with one of my _best friends,_ " she whined stretching out each vowel in the last two words ever so adorably in a way that resembled Taehyung.

The two spent the night watching the Harry Potter series while filling their stomachs with anything Jungkook deemed snack-worthy in the cupboards. Gradually, around the second movie, they stopped watching and, instead, talked to each other. They talked about things other than Taehyung for Jungkook's sake, but that didn't mean his thoughts of the elder were completely gone.

By the end of the third movie, Jungkook couldn't help himself anymore. "You know, you're a lot like him," he stated sadly.

Lisa gazed at him quietly unsure of how she should react. Instead, she let him talk about anything he needed to talk about without interruption.

"That's probably why you like Jimin too. They were like best friends before." Jungkook huffed a sad laugh, "if you weren't dating Jimin and if you were a guy, I'd've probably fallen balls deep for you."

"Jungkook, what's this about," she asked trying not to sound too concerned so that Jungkook would continue instead of hold back like he usually would.

"Well, today after my rehearsal, Taehyung told me he liked my dance. And then while he was singing, it was like I was dreaming again."

Lisa hummed to show that she was listening and let the boy continue without interference.

"I just wanted to forget about it and when you came over, I thought I would. But you're just too similar."

"I'm sorry. Should I start acting like Jimin?" Lisa suggested trying to keep the conversation from getting heavier than it already was.

Jungkook laughed to the floor, "no, you're perfect. You could say you're my beacon of hope? I'm not sure what I'm hoping for, but you sure are helping me keep it."

The boy glanced over at his friend grinning with empathy looking so touched. The movie playing in the moment was completely forgotten about as Jungkook's expression of infatuation changed into desperation. His smile was completely erased and his lips were slightly parted as he stared at his friend.

It was as if his heart stopped controlling him and his instincts took over. This gut-wrenching feeling tugging at him to just go for it. He leaned over toward Lisa and, before she could react, he caressed her jaw and pressed his lips against hers. He kissed her agonizingly slow and long even if he could feel her blinking rapidly in shock.

When Jungkook pulled away, he kept his eyes closed trying to hold back his tears and lingered in front of his friend's face. Jungkook knew he was fucked, crying over a boy he lost connection with whom will never feel the same way about him, who wouldn't even bat an eyelash at his presence.

Jungkook finally pulled away and when he opened his eyes, he was surprised to not see an angered Lisa. Instead, she looked sad like depression and concern had slapped her in the face or, in this case, kissed her.

"S-shit..." Jungkook managed to say, "I'm sorry, I figured, since you and Taehyung were so similar, your lips would taste the same." Jungkook whimpered, staring at the floor the entire time not daring to look back at the person who may never talk to him again.

"Jungkook, I can assure you that you won't be needing me to get a taste of Taehyung." She placed a comforting hand on his knee to rub tiny circles with her thumb.

"What does that mean?"

"I asked him today. He said yes."

 _"Do you think he... has dreams of me too?"_ His mind instinctively remembered.

 


	16. We're Ruined

Lucid dreaming is the ability to consciously observe and/or control your dreams. It transforms your inner dream world into a living alternate reality - where everything you see, hear, feel, taste and even smell is as authentic as real life. The boy had been stressing over this concept for months only to be slightly relieved he wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Lucid dreaming is normally a rare experience. Though most people report having had a lucid dream at least once in their lives, only about 20% of the population reports having lucid dreams once a month or more. Who would've thought that Jungkook, who he himself thought how unimportant he was, would be among that 20%?

Yes, Jungkook hadn't dreamed of Taehyung for over 5 months. But Jungkook still dreamt of things and, when he would remember it, it would feel so real.

Mutual dreaming is the idea that two or more people can share the same dream environment. There are two specific types: meshing dreams (in which the different dreams share certain elements) and meeting dreams (in which two people or more meet up and communicate within the dream). They normally occur among close friends, family members, spouses, and partners (anyone whom someone should have a close relationship with).

For Jungkook's scenario, it would've been more likely that him and Taehyung have had meshing dreams whereas meeting dreams would make more sense to happen on the same night. But maybe they did dream it on the same night. If only he had noted the date when had been recording his dreams.

But even after all this research, Jungkook wondered, with the mysterious mind games solved, was their still a more magical meaning behind them? Jungkook believed in logical and scientific explanations, this was exactly that. But if that's all that there was, he couldn't help but feel empty at the loss of the hope that the universe was trying to tell him something. There had to be something deeper, as mutual dreams were a rare occurrence, let alone, not even close friends but practically two strangers having had mutual dreams with each other should be close to impossible. What was he to make out of that?

Jungkook was pulled out of his concentrated research session by an exceedingly strong shove on his shoulders from behind. "Jeon, is there something you would like to confess to your hyung?" Lisa tugged Jimin forward and looked at the younger boy with expecting eyes.

It took Jungkook a few seconds to register what she was talking about, the events of the night before almost cleared out of his memory like he was too drunk off of his emotions to remember. The boy took one look at his clueless hyung and immediately wished he didn't care about Jimin's mental stability. "Oh, fuck..."

"What? What happened," Jimin eagerly questioned with big eyes that Jungkook was quick to feel guilty for.

"Umm... okay, listen," the younger started, "you couldn't come over and Lisa just so happened to stop by because her guts told her to... a-and I was drunk off my own emotions, a-a-and then Taehyung just wouldn't leave my mind, a-a-and, uh, and..." Jungkook babbled as his eyes trailed anywhere but Jimin's face.

"And?" Lisa barked impatiently.

"... and I kissed Lisa." Jungkook spoke quickly to get it over with, Jimin almost missed it. His hyung stared blankly at him for what seemed like decades, so Jungkook tried to explain himself. "I-It was... I was... Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking. I don't what came over me, _something_ definitely overcame me and I just couldn't-" the boy was cut off from his rambling when Jimin placed hand over his mouth.

"Jungkook, do you have feelings for Lisa?" He frantically shook his head, Jimin's hand still firmly covering his mouth. "Was it 100 percent out of impulse?" Jungkook nodded softly. "Did Lisa know you were going to kiss her?" The boy shook his head hesitantly, his eyes full of guilt.   
The elder finally removed his hand from the boy but Jungkook didn't dare to say anything. "I accept your apology, but you still need to be punished for kissing a taken woman without consent."

Lisa smirked at her boyfriend. "You're too much, honestly. Just say 'betraying the guy code' or whatever," she huffed.

"That too," Jimin added.

Jungkook nodded, completely and utterly thankful to have such a caring and considerate hyung. "What's my punishment," the younger sighed.

"I'll think of one when the time is right," the elder said with a smirk.

~

The night after rehearsal, Taehyung couldn't get the image of Jungkook on stage dancing with so much confidence out of his mind. _He really has changed,_ he thought to himself. Last year, Jungkook still seemed to be adjusting to the new environment, slowly adapting to the high school life. But over the course of the past couple months, his attitude and overall personality seemed to have changed drastically. That night, Taehyung's mind seemed to have conjured up a dream that had changed his perspective of the boy completely.

_Taehyung walked into school with only one thing on his mind: find Jungkook. He didn't know what he would do after that, but that didn't stop his determination._

_He finally found the boy at the water fountain, the hallway was strangely barren in Taehyung's favour._

_He walked up to the boy leaning over sipping at the water with no other objective in mind other than to just walk up to him. Jungkook straightened his postured when the elder approached, his lips moist from the fountain and Taehyung was enchanted. Jungkook looked the same, except he's not as tall as Taehyung anymore, his build was wider and his facial features were sharper, but other than the physique, his personality seemed to be the same._

_"H-hyung?" Jungkook stuttered._

_Taehyung's heart was beating a million miles an_ _minute_ _at the honorific. After all this time apart, one would think the title would've dropped between them._

_"Kookie," the elder chirped as if they had never stopped talking. At this point, Taehyung found himself rambling about a touchy subject that he couldn't remember._

_Jungkook responded by wrapping his arms around the elder's neck and pulling him in for an embrace. There were tears falling down both their faces, both silently sobbing into each others shoulders while holding each other like they were the only thing to keep them from disappearing._

_"We ruined each other." He heard Jungkook whisper into his ear. His voice sounded of intimacy but his words sounded like a cry for help._

When Taehyung woke, it was 6 in the morning. He had school in two and a half hours, there was no way he could walk pass Jungkook after this.

 


	17. Bad Timing

**_Taehyung:_ ** _yo Jimin_

**_Jimin:_ ** _can I help you?_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _hey, I think you like_ _Jisoo_

**_Jimin:_ ** _wtf? How do you just randomly come up with that??_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _I don't come up with it cuz I know it's true_

**_Jimin:_ ** _oh yeah? What makes you so sure?_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _your body language, you always lean more toward her whenever she stands next to you and when you start talking to each other you laugh more lmaoo_

**_Jimin:_ ** _if you fucking tell anyone, I will break you_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _chill dude, I gotchu_

Taehyung inspected the old text messages dating back to February of the ninth grade. It was the month of love and since Taehyung had no one else to share his love with, he helped others instead.

The boy then clicked on his conversation with Jungkook that dated back to Christmas of ninth grade.

**_Jungkook:_ ** _hey_   
**_Jungkook:_ ** _check out these fuckin funny memes brO_   
**_Jungkook:_ ** _Pepe.jpeg_   
**_Jungkook:_ ** _I_ _/_ _like_ _-_ _you.jpeg_

**_Taehyung:_ ** _I love Pepe lmao_   
**_Taehyung:_ ** _I like you?_

**_Jungkook:_ ** _yeah, I like you whatever. Merry Christmas, happy new year, goodbye!!_

How do I respond to this, _Taehyung thought. It seemed as if Jungkook was ready for rejection but at the same time, still disappointed_ _that he was right_ _. He figured he would let the boy think... about anything before he talked to him_ _, but really that meant let himself think_ _. The next time they were to speak to each other would be in person. But when Taehyung returned to school in January, Jungkook was cold._

Taehyung was so good at judging relationships at the time, how could he have not seen the signs before? Jungkook was still cold toward him after all these years and all Taehyung wanted to do was apologize. He's not sure what for, but something was eating at his gut for so long, he figured that was the only way to fix it. Though, every time there was an open opportunity, Taehyung would immediately back out because Jungkook's eyes have never looked so cold and damaged. That as it may, the senior found himself promising to apologize before Christmas break after his perspective changing dream.

~

Lately, Lisa had been getting herself caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. A result of bad luck since birth but it's never been this bad. The girl had dragged her boyfriend and best friend to the back of the school after the lunch dismissal bell as a short cut to McDonalds. Although, when they heard a large ruckus around the corner, they found a ladder and empty spray cans sprawled across the floor only to be caught red-handed, framed for destruction of property, and land themselves two hours of detention after school.

The three of them were sent to 5 different classrooms that needed a good wash and clean. To be more efficient, they each took a classroom alone to finish faster. Jungkook was sent to his classroom with buckets of cleaning supplies and a handful of trash bags. The door was wide open and the room was already lit.

"Kookie?" A low voice had called out, a hint of bewilderment and desire in his tone. But the nickname, Jungkook was already fed up, but also, terrified.

Jungkook stood stiff in the doorway nearly dropping some supplies when his eyes immediately latched to Taehyung's. He felt his heart beat harsher against his chest but not faster; it felt so loud but his uneven breaths felt louder.

"Um... cleaning... detention," he muttered while gesturing to his handful of cleaning tools.

He felt the senior eye him from head to toe and, in just one second, he felt himself shrink under the intimate gaze. "D'you want some help," Taehyung offered slowly rising from his seat.

The elder took one step until Jungkook's mental stability couldn't hold back anymore. "What are you doing here?" His voice was louder and assertive, he was the one in charge and shouldn't be afraid. But he did sound angry (which he shouldn't).

"Same as you. But not for cleaning. But I can still help you."

Jungkook didn't know what to make out of the situation. He wasn't sure if Taehyung was talking him as an old friend or just a detention mate. _But he said 'kookie',_ he argued.

Jungkook stared blankly at the elder and, without a word, walked right by him toward the whiteboard. Taehyung's gaze followed him like a sword to his back, but the younger continued his chores spraying at the board.

Taehyung huffed a single laugh and walked to his side. "Don't mind if I do." With that, he helped himself to a cloth in the bucket and began wiping in the areas Jungkook had sprayed at.

The younger boy sighed of misery and moved to the other end of the board to continue. When he looked over at Taehyung towelling at the surface in messy circles, he had to restrain himself from screaming. "You're missing so many spots! And, you should wipe up and down, do you even clean?"

"Why does it matter? It's cleaning," the elder scoffed as the tiniest of smirks dared to appear on his (suddenly more noticeable) lips.

Jungkook groaned not bothering to continue with any sort of banter for the rest of detention.

"Have you heard of this quote before," the elder asked pointing to the scribble already written on the board when they entered. _Fate never works on the side of the expecting,_ it read.

"Um, no..." Jungkook made sure to keep his responses short and tried _so_ hard to not give into Taehyung's effortless persistence.

"Aww, well I guess that's too bad, huh, Kookie?"

Just like that, Jungkook was weak. He whipped his body around and, with so much frustration and annoyance, his hand automatically squeezed into a tight fist around the spray bottle inevitably spraying Taehyung in the face.

"Koo- _Ahh!_ "

"Oh fuck!" The younger boy panicked to find a clean cloth to wipe the elder's face. He finally managed to find a tissue box and pulled at least 5 tissues out of the box to frantically wipe at the senior's face.

"Ah!" The senior inhaled sharply at Jungkook's efforts and gently brought his hands away while his own hands lingered around the younger's wrists.

"Sorry, sorry, fuck! Hyung, are you okay?" Jungkook was so distressed he almost didn't catch the way Taehyung's grip on his wrist had tightened slightly at the way he referred to him, his hyung.

Jungkook froze just realizing what he had referred to him as, almost missing Taehyung's plea to take him to the washroom. "Jungkook-ah!"

"Jesus christ, okay. Fuck, I'm so sorry."

"Aish! Just help me wash my eyes before I start picking names for my guide-dog." Jungkook snickered. "Hey! Ah, you're still so friggin awkward, huh?"

 


	18. See You Later

There are some things that one does not feel the need to pay close attention to, or be aware of like blinking or breathing until it's been pointed out.

Jungkook stood beside the sink in the restroom as Taehyung began rinsing his face. A simple action that seemed so mundane, no one would bother to ponder about it. But Jungkook couldn't help it because when he saw Taehyung wash his face, he thought the action itself was magnificent, like he hasn't appreciated it enough. The boy stared at the other without a single blink. It wasn't until Taehyung had turned off the tap that Jungkook had snapped out of his daze and turned toward the mirror as a cover.

Taehyung went to grab a few sheets of paper towel out of the dispenser beside the mirror Jungkook had been looking in to. Jungkook froze. He didn't know if should have waited for Taehyung or just left when he brought him here. Should he be helping him or stand at the side without making the situation worse? Yes, the senior was right, Jungkook was still awkward.

"Ah..." the elder inhaled hesitantly, "um... let's go back now." He looked at the sophomore through the mirror and smiled sheepishly. He quickly averted his eyes downward trying to hide the blush in his cheeks and went to open the door for Jungkook.

"Uh, are you okay," Jungkook asked shyly, placing his hands in his pockets and ducking his head slightly forward (a habit out of insecurity).

"Sure." Taehyung smiled to the floor.

The dead air between them wasn't uncomfortable but it was agonizingly long. If the two were still friends, Taehyung, for sure, would have spiked up a new conversation topic to keep it from being awkward. A trait one learns when growing up a confident social butterfly. Although, Taehyung seemed less confident than usual.

"So, how's school for you?" Taehyung sputtered.

"Oh... uhh..." The only thing going on Jungkook's school life was the talent show and Taehyung. "Um, its good, I guess. School, it's been the same for 10 years." He laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, I get that. Any drama? Relationships?" Taehyung piped.

Drama... Jungkook had internal drama with Taehyung, if that counted. "Jimin and Lisa are together, that's a thing," he muttered.

Taehyung hummed and their was dead air again. Jungkook was secretly fidgeting with his fingers in his pockets. For some reason, the walk back to the classroom felt longer than the walk to restroom.

They finally reached the classroom and began their planned chores. Taehyung wiped the whiteboard clean while Jungkook scrubbed at the desks. Together, they mopped at the floors and organized the book shelves without any struggle of communication. They had a natural spark in their teamwork, they both knew what the other was thinking. By 3:30, the classroom was clean (or cleaner than its previous state) and Jungkook slouched in the teacher's chair to relax.

"How much longer are you here for," Taehyung questioned.

"4:30, or until I finish the next classroom," he explained.

"I'll stay behind to help."

Jungkook tensed and clutched the armrests of the chair, eyes not too wide but wider than usual. "Uh, why?"

"You can't do it alone. That's unfair."

"What's unfair is that I nearly blinded you and yet you still stayed to clean up this classroom. Go home or something," coaxed the younger.

Taehyung left the room with the bucket of cleaning supplies and left his bag behind on a desk. Jungkook stood immediately and ran to the room next door to see Taehyung already spraying the whiteboard.

"Glad I could be of service," Taehyung chuckled and tossed Jungkook a cloth to wipe the whiteboard.

They finished cleaning in record time, 4:16 to be exact and Jungkook was relieved he could go home early. He felt bad to leave Lisa and Jimin but he'll make it up to them later.

Taehyung followed Jungkook to the janitor's closet to return the supplies and went to retrieve his bag from his locker.

"You don't have to follow me, you know?" Jungkook sassed as Taehyung stayed quiet. The sophomore slung his bag over his shoulder and began his walk to the bus stop.

"Hey, wait a second." Taehyung called out just before Jungkook opened the door. "Can I at least get a hug before you go?"

Jungkook froze for probably the fourth time that day. He was unsure if Taehyung actually wanted a hug or if he just couldn't let go of the joke of Jungkook's crush on him years ago.

When Jungkook turned around and met eyes with the senior, his heart dropped. Taehyung seemed to have moved closer to him while his back was turned and his eyes were just sparkling at this distance. It was as if his eyes were screaming at Jungkook to finally hug him because Jungkook and Taehyung have never had a proper hug before. It's not like Jungkook wondered what the feeling of being wrapped in Taehyung's tall and lean frame would feel like when he would be crying and needing someone to protect him. Jungkook ogled at the elder's eyes and concluded that Taehyung really wanted a hug for some reason.

Jungkook sighed and stepped forward into Taehyung's arms. Jungkook, involuntarily, buried his face in Taehyung's shoulder and took in the moment. He memorized his smell of cologne and laundry detergent and the feeling of Taehyung's arms holding him tightly in place like he was trying to keep him from slipping right through.

Taehyung sighed over his shoulder and Jungkook realized this hug was lasting for too long and pulled away. He stood in front the elder for a few seconds that felt like hours to fully take in the moment and when he finally looked at his face after the embrace, his heart dropped again because this wasn't a dream. Jungkook couldn't just wake up from the moment and avoid the awkwardness. He didn't know how to handle himself. He would always wake up just before his mental breakdown.

"Don't quote me on this, but you're really awkward." Taehyung finally spoke after realizing how long Jungkook had been staring.

Jungkook bit his lip and shoved his hands back in his pockets. "My bus... it should be here soon," he stuttered, eyes boring into the floor.

"Right. I'll see you later then."

Jungkook's eyes snapped and stared at Taehyung again, this time, in astonishment. "Later," meaning they'll speak to each other again. Jungkook worried how long "later" will be. Would it be another 3 years, or maybe 3 days? Are they still friends, are they on texting terms still? Had Taehyung deleted his number like Jungkook did to his? So many questions all originating from a single word that his mind couldn't legitimately form complete questions, only the concept of the question.

 


	19. Willingness

On the strange turn of events this certain morning, with Jungkook's usual routine of catching a bus to school, he had been forced to walk in the cold. He left the house 40 minutes earlier than usual, not wasting any time to eat breakfast or fix his hair. No, it wasn't his usual coconut-shaped style, though Lisa had told him on multiple occasions to do something different. Instead it appeared as a mess of a mop placed poorly atop of his head.

He entered the school shivering, his head safely nestled in the warmth of his hood and hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. He looked like he had just emerged from a pile of snow 9 feet deep or, on simpler terms, a pile of cow manure that had been snowed on. He found Jimin waiting for him at his locker impatiently, but the look dropped when he saw Jungkook's state.

"Jesus Christ, you walked? I could've given you a ride, y'know?" Jungkook shrugged. "Listen, I've got a bone to pick with you. Leaving us after detention just like that-" Jimin tugged the hood off the younger's head revealing the horrific wreck of hair, "-what the fuck?"

"You were saying?"

"Not important anymore, have you forgotten what today is? We need to fix your hair." The elder dragged Jungkook to the washroom and forced everyone already inside to leave (oh, the privileges of being a senior). "At least it's not the coconut look today."

"Shut the fuck up!"

Jimin was known to always rat his hair backward with his hand, so it was no surprise to Jungkook he would give him a similar style. He pushed his hair back with some water parting it on one side to reveal his forehead.

"Did you get your eyebrows done?" Jimin teased now that Jungkook's dark brows were no longer hidden. Jungkook rolled his eyes.

Jimin stood back to admire the finished product just in time for first period. "This is a look, you should keep this look. Perfect for the talent show."

Jungkook eyed himself in the mirror examining his profile. He looked older and felt he could gain more confidence with the look. His jawline stood out more along with the multiple piercings along his ear; nothing but sharp edges.

When Jungkook passed Taehyung in the hall, his muscles tensed and his chest ached. He avoided eye contact and decided it would be best to keep ignoring each other like they use to even if he did catch Taehyung staring at him in the corner of his eye. Jungkook liked the thought that maybe it was the hairstyle that caught his attention and not because of their encounter the other day. He wanted to forget that, pretend it never happened so that it wouldn't affect him or cause him to over analyze again; it's for his own safety.

~

"Nice hair, baby boy!" Lisa exclaimed, slamming her body into Jungkook's side.

Jungkook huffed a shy laugh and fiddled with an outstanding strand of hair. "I've been getting comments like that all day."

"Yeah? From who? Taehyung?" She teased.

The boy glared at his friend and pinched her arm as a threat. "Do you still want my respect?"

"You love it. Anyway, I have a question about him."

"No."

"Oh perfect, I love when you cooperate." The sarcasm in her voice was almost painful.

"What kind of dirt have you been digging from him," he worried.

"It's a pretty diverse pick of soils, but I'm not gonna bore you with that." Jungkook sighed. "Here it is," she let out a breath in preparation that only seemed beneficial to Jungkook rather than herself, "are you willing to let Taehyung back into your life if he really did reach out to you?"

The boy's heart skipped a single beat, and then jumped to about 80 beats a minute right after. "What kind of question..." he muttered.

"It's a question that can be answered."

"Why do you want to know," he sassed.

In that moment, it had just occurred to him that Lisa nor Jimin know about anything that happened during detention. Jungkook would always freak out to them about the smallest of things but this... he didn't want to talk about. He didn't want Taehyung to invade his thoughts anymore and he definitely didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing, even if it was a big deal.

_Yes, I would_ , he thought to himself. "Eh, don't really know anymore, to be honest," _I've wanted that ever since we stopped talking_ , "I'm not as easy as you may think." _Why wouldn't I want it?_

Jungkook's lungs felt they were filling with water at all of the lies. His heart was pretty much banging against every wall of the school so that everyone was able to hear it. If Lisa saw right through his lie, she didn't bother to object.

"Alright... I won't underestimate you," assured the girl, patting her friend's shoulder.

Jungkook was in an internal battle with himself. To him, it was interesting to see how much he wanted any sort of closure before, but never really considered what could happen after that. Jungkook was so close, he could predict how the conversation would go; it would feel like thousands of heavy weights would have dropped on their heads one by one, feeling so much pain and soreness. Then, all that weight would be gone in the blink of an eye. Their relationship right after that conversation would be an endless void of opportunities depending on what type of weights were dropped and lifted. Jungkook didn't know which opportunity he would be more terrified of.

~

Jungkook was relieved to have minimal contact with the infamous Taehyung during the talent show. He hadn't seen him at all in the waiting room before or after the show. Their only encounter was after Jungkook's performance, the acts performing after him lined up backstage as he passed Taehyung and Jennie. He tried his hardest to tear his gaze away from the senior's emphasized facial features in the dim stage lighting, alas, Taehyung had noticed but misread the situation as he gave the younger a thumbs-up. Jungkook ignored and pretended he didn't see it. _Now **you're** the one hurting **him.**_


	20. Popcorn

_Jungkook was embarrassed to have Taehyung as company in this given moment. It was embarrassing to be with his family in front of Taehyung, and it was embarrassing to have Taehyung in front of his family. Although they welcomed him with open arms and a table of food, Jungkook had a weird feeling prickling in the pit of his stomach._

_The occasion was forgotten, not even registering to Jungkook why this was happening; to be having his relatives and cousins over all while Taehyung was hanging out too, he didn't think about it too much. Every thought Jungkook could store in his conscience was suddenly lost when his most chaotic little cousin hugged his leg koala bear-style and clung on like his life was on the line._

_"Kook-hyung! I love you, I love you, I love you," screeched the little one._

_"G-ah! You little-" The room filled of laughter and high pitched screeches of the little ones as Jungkook struggled to shake his leg free. "Hey," he growled playfully._

_When he finally escaped his cousin's clutches, he sprinted for freedom as the little one immediately started chasing after him. In the midst of the chaos, Jungkook heard a series of deep cackling coming from the one and only Taehyung, completely adoring Jungkook's playfulness. "Go Kookie!"_

Jungkook was speechless after finding that two nights of his Christmas break were spent dreaming about Taehyung again. His journal now containing 19 episodes of the saga. He wasn't terrified or annoyed in the slightest like usual, just baffled; curious on why it hadn't ended yet, and why it had taken so long for it to continue.

Despite his past dreams sharing the similar theme of Taehyung reaching out for him, these last two, it seemed Taehyung finally caught him. They had established a relationship of sorts, though, Jungkook was still relentless, not fully falling into the trap just yet. But the overall tension between the two collapsed and the younger wasn't afraid to be in his presence. Henceforth, he woke up calmly, heart beating at a relatively normal pace and his feelings about the situation were neutral even though the tingle in his abdomen said otherwise.

However, Jungkook's brain was itching to find out why the dream setting had been with his family. Neither of the two boys were related in anyway, their families having never met before, so what gives? It was a small and oddly specific detail that had him questioning what had happened in the timeline  during the long hiatus.

~

Jungkook didn't dare to have anymore conversation regarding Taehyung with Lisa anymore. The last thing he wanted was for Taehyung to fill his mind with analytical nonsense and asking Lisa for advice would give him exactly that even if what she was saying was the most logical of the situation. That meant the detention incident and the dreams were to be unknown to her until Jungkook can fully control his feelings.

The boy needed 'guy talk' for once. In which case, he'd ask for advice, his guys would give him advice, have a quick discussion, and quickly move on to another topic without ruining the mood. Jungkook needed to be a guy, howbeit, he hadn't realized how desperate he was until he found himself stood in front of an anxious Jimin in his doorway with the sound of popping popcorn behind him. A small explosion emitted along with a low and familiar shriek echoing in his kitchen.

"Hey, Jungkookie!" Jimin greeted, saying his name louder as a (not so) subtle way to let whoever was in the background know who was at the door, "Damn, I wish you would've texted me if you were coming like you usually do. Uhm... I'm just catching up with, uh.. an old friend. You know?"

At this point, Jungkook couldn't care less about being blunt, all too tired of subtlety and investigation. "Taehyung is with you, isn't he," he interrogated , sounding less annoyed than he anticipated.

"I'll kick him out if you want. You look like you need to talk," he offered but Jungkook shook his head refusing to admit defeat, refusing to admit that Taehyung had this much of an effect on him. Jimin shot him a confused glare, "So, you're gonna stay?"

"Sure!" Jungkook's mind hadn't processed what his agreement had in store, hadn't even thought about the meaning behind the word and just slipped out with, not so much as grace, but a hustle. Nevertheless, after his rushed confirmation, Jungkook couldn't convince his legs to move.

Taehyung approached a few feet behind Jimin, his gaze locked on Jungkook and his mouth in mid-chew of popcorn was now still. Jungkook held the stare over Jimin's shoulder for what seemed like days only growing more intensity by the millisecond and subconsciously tugged lightly on Jimin's sleeve to ground himself.

The aura around the three plummeted to something intense and invasive. Jimin felt Taehyung take another small step closer, seeming to be out of his own control, and hoped to God the next thing he would say would lighten the mood. "Yo, geez Tae, take a step back and stop crowding me. I know how much you love my butt, but you got to control yourself," Jimin blurted.

Taehyung snapped out of his daze and giggled. With a final pat on Jimin's bottom, he made his way back to the living room. The air around the two remaining boys was still thick but not suffocating, Taehyung left but Jungkook did not dare to let go of his hyung's sleeve, his eyes still wandering around the space Taehyung had just occupied with anxiety.

"Actually, I'm gonna leave. If he asks, I went to go hit myself with a car," the younger whispered. He made a move to leave but was stopped when he heard footsteps again.

"Ahh... Jungkook-ah, you joining us?" Taehyung asked from across the hallway. His tall and slender frame was just a silhouette, his facial expressions not visible but his body language said it all. He put all his weight on his right leg with his hand behind his head, his body almost hanging there; he was nervous?

**Author's Note:**

> [Give me your feedback!](https://hardtofigureout.tumblr.com)


End file.
